Monthly

If I may ... at the risk of sounding crude ....

Three Reactions to Receiving One's Monthly Visitor

• Thank god.
• Ugh, this again.
  

and, the nearer you are to 35:

• Well, there goes another one.
  

It gets more and more like that each month.

What a pretentious bitch!

I'm still laughing. Allow me to explain the title of the blog entry: One of my friends told me this over the weekend after I told him about one of the questions I have been considering as my date-screening question. E.g., the question that helps me determine where to categorize potential dates and romantic interests. It would not necessarily be the ice-breaker question, but something to be asked in the second or third conversation or something.

This is the most honest feedback I got about it so far. And after a discussion and more careful thinking, I concur. "What is your favorite NPR program?" IS pretty pretentious and could make a potentially awesome guy get up and walk away in disgust, whether he listens to NPR or not. In my defense, I knew this when I developed the question... it is more a question to gauge how he responds. Knowing what NPR is and which program he likes is not as important as how this question is answered. I've asked it 3 times so far, all via online chat, actually. All 3 responded with "hahaha" or "lol." I bet the thought that immediately followed the question was, "What kind of girl asks that kind of date-screening question?" Or more specifically, "What a pretentious bitch!" :)

In conclusion, I am in the middle of crafting a new date-screening question. I'm going to test out, "What is your favorite beer [sub: ice cream]?" Am I lowering my standards too much?

Porn on your partner's computer

Link located in title. I tend to agree with most of the blogger's points and feelings about the place of porn in a relationship. Divine Caroline is a great site!

Denim Day in LA 2008

http://www.denimdayinla.org/

Peace Over Violence is proud to present the 10th Annual Denim Day in LA 2008, a campaign to raise awareness and educate the public about rape and sexual assault. It takes place on Wednesday April 23, 2008.
In 1998, an Italian Supreme Court decision overturned a rape conviction because the victim wore jeans. People all over the world were outraged. Wearing jeans became an international symbol of protest against erroneous and destructive attitudes about sexual assault.
Last year, on Denim Day an unprecedented 300,000 people signed up to wear jeans in support of raising awareness about the need to end sexual violence. This year we aim to at least double that amount.
This day in the schools, offices and streets of Los Angeles County we unite against rape of girls, women, boys and men. We stand in support of survivors. We break the silence to end sexual violence.
On Denim Day in LA wear your jeans as a visible sign of protest against the myths that still surround sexual assault!

http://www.peaceoverviolence.org/

Betty, Betty, Betty

My turn to post something belated yet fantastic! I realize this clip is several weeks old but I can't help it - I live in Japan and don't find out about this stuff until it's too late. Still, relevance is relevance.

I present to you Betty White on the Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson - vital, looking fantastic, sharp as a tack, smashing expectations, and - at 86 - still relevant. May we all achieve the same.

Natalie Portman is my hero (for today).

This is old (circa 2006), but I still thought it hilarious.

The Hypocrisies of the Day

1. For all the moaning and crying I did about how I never felt my mother accepted me for who I was, I certainly do my share of not accepting her for who she is, either.
   
2. I tell everyone I'm from New York City, but I'm really from backwater Florida - I just lived in New York for 8 years. I call New York City my home town because it's the only place that ever really felt like it. But it's not. Not really.
   
3. I tell people I'm a writer but I'm not - I'm an English teacher who has never published anything creative.
   
4. I've complained about high maintenance women my whole life but recently realized I've had 3 professional massages this year.
   
5. After 2 months of doing my best to eat organic and preaching the evils of enriched wheat, I'm back to eating as much junk as I ever did before. Somewhat like my year-long stint of boycotting all animal-tested products. "Blah blah blah" - that's the sound my self-righteous gibberish.
   

That'll do for now. Really. That'll do.

Dealbreakers

I was having a conversation with some friends about stinky feet in a movie theatre and the subject shifted to things that a person would do/be in order for us to not call them back after the first date... or break up with them if we were together. So i started contemplating my own list of "dealbreakers." i didn't really need to have one for the past 15 years of serial monogamy, so i decided it was time to put it in concrete terms for my adventures in dating. Here's what I have so far (feel free to add to this--it should be a lively discussion):

Depression
Drug or alcohol addiction
For these two, it's a matter of being an equal partner in a relationship. It's really unfair for one person to be the Rock all of the time. Love and emotional support should balance out.

Treats people like shit, a.k.a. asshole
Openly violent and adamantly racist, sexist, anti-gay statements
These things are ugly. I was talking to a guy recently about making dinner plans. Went something like this--
K: Where do you want to go for dinner? I know of a really good place for cheap.
Guy: Why don't we just meet at my house and you can cook for me? I'm hungry.

Ugly grill: to the point of tooth decay, gum disease and halitosis
Shorter than me
Yes, yes, call me a superficial bitch, but I think these things are important for intimacy. (e.g. kissing while standing) I'm not that tall to begin with, so it would be some feat to be shorter than me.

If he tries to tell me who i can see/talk to/hang out with
It's such a turn off for my partner to tell me what to do or how to live my life, especially if he says he doesn't want me to hang out with certain friends. If you don't trust me, stay away. If you're controlling, stay away.

If he hates my family.
It's somewhat bearable if my family thinks he's only so-so, but if he adamantly hates any member of my family for it he needs to go. It goes back to treating people with dignity and respect.

Bedroom compatibility
Goes without saying.


That's all I have so far. I'd love to hear your stories!