What a pretentious bitch!

I'm still laughing. Allow me to explain the title of the blog entry: One of my friends told me this over the weekend after I told him about one of the questions I have been considering as my date-screening question. E.g., the question that helps me determine where to categorize potential dates and romantic interests. It would not necessarily be the ice-breaker question, but something to be asked in the second or third conversation or something.

This is the most honest feedback I got about it so far. And after a discussion and more careful thinking, I concur. "What is your favorite NPR program?" IS pretty pretentious and could make a potentially awesome guy get up and walk away in disgust, whether he listens to NPR or not. In my defense, I knew this when I developed the question... it is more a question to gauge how he responds. Knowing what NPR is and which program he likes is not as important as how this question is answered. I've asked it 3 times so far, all via online chat, actually. All 3 responded with "hahaha" or "lol." I bet the thought that immediately followed the question was, "What kind of girl asks that kind of date-screening question?" Or more specifically, "What a pretentious bitch!" :)

In conclusion, I am in the middle of crafting a new date-screening question. I'm going to test out, "What is your favorite beer [sub: ice cream]?" Am I lowering my standards too much?

[my] Life's big Questions

I spent the night with one of my best friends and her husband last night. After dinner at Souplantation and internet shopping for bathing suits and Spanx, she laid it on me: the hard questions about my relationship.
- So how long are you going to hold out/on until you say, "Shit or get off the pot."
- If you are not the center of his life now, after almost 6 years, will you ever be?
- How long is he going to string you along before he makes up his mind?
- What the hell are you waiting for?

Last year, these questions occupied my thought, initiated by my own mind. Within the past year I have decided that more important than wedding vows to me was sharing my life with my man. If that meant he needed more time, then I'd give it. If it meant I needed to hot pass on the familial pressure to get married, then I'd oblige. I felt freeing and I have been less worried about it...

Then the questions rear their ugly heads, again. And if anyone mentions that damn book, He's Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt I will cry. I read it and I hate it. A man wrote it and who cares if he was a writer on Sex in the City.

I will always prefer the freedom of knowing over the freedom that comes from overlooking or forgetfulness.

Answering questions with questions: What have others done in my situation? What should I be asking myself to determine my decision? Why do people so many people see marriage as the ultimate goal of a relationship?