"stop bein' a bitch and come on!"

i am in the process of recording some voices for a short animated piece. as the only woman involved in this process, i was the only one who was dismayed to read the word "bitch" in the script, in reference to a woman. (there's also an exchange involving the phrase "don't rape me!" which i absolutely refuse to say...but that's a whoooooole 'nother story...)

with a number of other colorful expletives at our disposal in this day and age, why is it that 'bitch' is always the default insult hurled at women?

when i meditate upon my own usage of the term, i realize i use it for two distinct purposes:
1) in a self-deprecating manner, when referring to behavior i am not proud of, e.g., "god, i am being such a bitch right now!"
2) when describing a man who is displaying behavior i believe to be unacceptable. please refer to exhibit a, the title of this post, which is a direct quote from the 90's film friday.

i feel no qualms about using 'bitch' to refer to myself or men i dislike, but i am careful not to use it in reference to other women, even those who i may dislike with a fervent passion. in my mind, doing so would be out of line with my feminist ideals. bitch, like slut, is a word that i try to avoid using, period...well, except when it is used to describe a man or men, in which case i use it with reckless abandon! (what a sexist hypocrite i am!)

all of this makes me think about 'bitch' is defined in our culture. to me, it seems that bitchy women are usually conceived of as those who either a) possess too many 'manly' characteristics (assertive, bold, tough), or b) are just evil and conniving in ways that only women can be (epitome of the mean-ass woman from hell). with this in mind, my conception of the male bitch turns the former definition on its head. a bitchy man is weak and lacks figurative balls - characteristics generally attributed to women, but in my definition only describes a particular breed of jackass man. in plain and simple terms, he's a weenie and a wimp.

this whole thing feels somehow connected to the way in which i delight in using male-derived phrases like "don't break my balls" or happily commenting that badass girls with moxie "have cohones." it's too bad i don't derive the same pleasure from reciting sassy phrases referring to my own, true female anatomy...why is that? maybe one day, i'll be confident and bold enough to say things like, "i got tits" and have it not be a sexual thing...but will there ever be a day when women's bodies will become less hypersexualized? sigh. not likely, in my book.

in the end, i managed to have 'bitch' removed from the scene in question. it was replaced with a snide, sneering 'sweetheart'...such a small victory, but a feather in my cap nonetheless!


* special thanks to taberlykim for writing the grrrreat piece below, which finally inspired me to get off my behind and WRITE SOMETHING! you are a badass, and you definitely have cohones! *