there's no E in the word "t-a-s-t-y"

ok, i want to like Fergie. really, i do. i even have the Black Eyed Peas "my humps" on my ipod. embarrassing, yes, but i'm admitting it.

 

i keep seeing that Fergalicious video and it really bothers me. not because i'm jealous and wish i had a body like that. every time i see it i can't help but think "are her parents watching this?"

 

i guess i'm just tired of seeing barely dressed women in music videos. i know if i don't like it i can just turn it off, but what kind of message is this sending to young girls? that this is what you should aspire to be? someday you too can jump out of a cake and rub yourself with frosting on television?!

 

good grief.

 

The right of way (not really a feminist topic)

Why is it that I find myself nearly run over, up to four times a day, as I walk from the parking lot to my workplace? Mind you, I'm using designated sidewalks, crosswalks with bright day-glow yellow pedestrian crossing signs, painted signs on the roads, and painted crosswalk markings on the road. I just do not understand why cars insist they must go, NOW. What - letting a pedestrian cross the street would slow you down that significantly? Are you going to lose your life over it? Because they're definitely risking mine.

A few weeks ago, I was crossing a drive-way on the sidewalk, in front of a car that was stopped there, waiting for traffic to clear. When I was right in front of the car, the driver, who was on her cell phone, released her brake, almost hit me and scared the living daylights out of me. Did she apologize for or even acknowledge scaring the shit out of me? No, she went right on gabbing on her phone.

This week, I was in the middle of a cross-walk, and the car refused to slow down or stop. As I finished crossing the lane, and the car was inches from my feet, I shot the driver a condescending look, and then got honked at. WTF? Did I not get out of YOUR way fast enough?

Am I the only person out there that thinks pedestrians should be allowed to cross at crosswalks? When I'm in my car, I usually let pedestrians go ahead of me. That way, I won't run them over if they decide to run across the street, and besides, they're usually colder/wetter/tireder than I am in my sheltering vehicle.

Seriously, when did drivers get to be so atrocious and disrespectful regarding pedestrians?

Driving myself crazy

Okay, I'm having a feminist crisis. My boyfriend's vehicle is being fixed this week, so I have been doing the driving to and from work (we carpool) and found that I get really nervous with him in the car. I don't know why. I also find myself defending what I am doing and why. For example: "I'm going to get over in the other lane after this car," "I'm only going 70 because my car doesn't like to go fast," etc. Suddenly I can't change lanes without his help "can I get over?"

Now, I don't usually question my driving skills and have never been in an accident (unlike the boyfriend, whose name is David, by the way) so why am I nervous and questioning everything I am doing?

And let me add that he isn't a backseat driver - he doesn't say things - I say things before he has the chance, or so I think.

I also ramble on and on like me talking is somehow going to distract him from paying attention to my driving.

Although, we've been together more than a year (and have lived together for several months), he's only driven with me in my car a few times. His car is way nicer (has air conditioning) so he usually drives us to work everyday and anywhere else we go together.

And one last thing, I know he trusts me and my driving skills. I have started driving his vehicle even without him as a passenger - obviously he trusts me. He has never once said anything to make me think that he doesn't like my driving...so why am I freaking out about this?

In my defense, I am not used to driving with passengers in the car. I used to drive to work all alone everyday as I used to live 5 minutes from my job. And anytime I went anywhere with people they usually drove because they have nicer cars. And this doesn't happen in any other situation with David. That said...

As a feminist, I am very dissapointed in myself about this whole situation. So I am asking my fellow feminists/strong women - any ideas/suggestions for me? Anybody else have this problem? Does it go away?

ATTN: CONTRIBUTORS!

hey ladies, we've switched over to the new version of blogger which unfortunately means that in order to post, you will have to switch over too. (if you look to your left, you'll see that most contributor names have disappeared for this reason. boo!)

it's quick and easy to switch, but just a minor hassle. we apologize for these technical difficulties...please email us at womenswrites@gmail.com if you have any questions or problems relating to this whole stinky process!

a rose by any other name...

...would it still smell the same? I am in the midst of a rather common (and unavoidable) wedding quandary: should I assume his surname? Even though my guy assures me that MY answer hinges upon MY happiness, there are those intangible sentiments, which he emits, that escort me to the idea that taking his name would color his world three shades of happy.
What to do? I know it’s a tradition; and traditionally speaking, his desire for me to take his name is probably valid. But, I think that people get so attached to social mores that they don’t always understand what they’re attaching themselves to. I would not only be changing my name, but the air of my independence as well.
Yes, it could be argued that while I'd like to maintain autonomy, my current last name is in fact my father's and thus, symbolizes the patriarchal bloodline of my family. But, despite that objection, Resendez carries my ethnicity, the financial history I created for myself, and my identity for the past 27 yrs. I still don’t know what I’m going to do…any suggestions? Please, feel free to comment!

**And, don’t even get me started on the whole walking down the aisle business. Coverture is over-ture, baby! Last time I checked, no one (except maybe the U.S. Gov., guffaw-guffaw!) owns me! So, if I do decide to saunter down the aisle, mom will most certainly be there too! :)

HEY!

I do not approve of the disapproving glances at my VPL (visible panty line) that I just received from a fellow femme, my boss! Actually, I guess she looked more concerned than anything else.

In the wise words of Monica, "It's just one of dem days." Don't take it personal.

The first of a myriad of thoughts

Hello to all the women on this blog project! I'm happy to contribute my first musing of many.

I've been thinking a lot about the bigger picture... when I used to work in retail and two of my co-workers were bitching at each other about something, I just kept thinking how there are bigger problems in the world... and when my former manager kept hammering into me how important it was to finish everything on time, no matter what (steaming clothes, pricing things, etc.)... I just thought: "there's more than this."

I'm suddenly very disappointed in the world around me. I used to not really care because it didn't affect me and it was all far away from me. But the more I know, the more I'm horrified. And the more I want to do my part to make everything better... even if I can only do a tiny bit.

It finally occurred to me how much I have. Maybe this was brought on by everything I've been through during my life and I realized how precious the little things were that I used to take for granted... like making your own choices and having the ability to do whatever you please with the time that you have.

I was looking at websites the other night... volunteer organizations abroad, mostly. There's one called global volunteers where you can volunteer a few weeks of your time to go abroad and teach English, build homes, and help those who don't have a voice in this world. There was one where you could go to Afghanistan and join the fight to educate women who have been denied the right to read and write because of the laws. Maybe this is something I could do one day... since I know that every little drama in my life was not nearly as bad as what others are experiencing now. Soldiers fighting in Iraq have lost their lives or are missing limbs. Some people don't know where their next meal will come from. Some live in fear of death every day...

Could I make a difference? Going elsewhere someday would let me see parts of the world I never dreamed existed... meet people I would never have met otherwise... and experience things that will hopefully make me a better person.

Time to save up vacation hours.

-- Cat

Movie posters, obesity, monsters...

Just one of many blogs on weight that I will write. Has anybody else seen the billboard (bus) ads or movie previews for Eddie Murphy’s new movie Norbit? Is anyone else tired of seeing movies make fun of obese women and people in general? First of all the poster itself is offensive. Let me first say that I am overweight, not obese but overweight. Although there are probably people walking this Earth that would call me obese, but I don’t consider myself obese. Anyway, I was standing on the corner of a street and this giant bus pulls up and stops in front of me and on the side of the bus is a giant Norbit poster. In this poster all you see is this giant woman in lingerie with bulging fat thighs, arms, etc., practically suffocating this poor, tiny, skinny man. (And why is she in lingerie while he is completely dressed?) Above them is the line “Have you ever made a really big mistake?” So first we are dealing with the stereotype that fat women are unattractive and no man would be caught dead under an obese woman, so apparently his “big mistake” was having sex with a fat woman. God forbid!

But once you see the previews you see that not only does Eddie (who portrays both characters) make the woman obese but he also makes her a horrible beast of a woman; so now we are dealing with the stereotype that fat women are mean, pushy, domineering and bitchy, oh and for good measure he named her Rasputia. In the summary of the movie on the Internet Movie Database they call her “monstrous.” So somehow, this giant monster bullies this poor little skinny man and forces him to promise to marry her. His savior comes in the form of you guessed it, a skinny, beautiful, kind woman (played by Thandie Newton). This story is old and I find it offensive to both women and men and both skinny and fat.

And, don’t even get me started the fact that these obese women characters are being written and played by men – who have no idea what it’s like to be a woman, skinny or not.

I am a huge fan of movies and believe that people can make whatever movies they want and we have the freedom to go see those movies but I just want to know how long it’s going to take till making fun of fat people is no longer funny or acceptable. I just ask for one movie with an obese woman who is normal, nice, kind and who finds a nice, kind man and lives somewhat happily ever after.

"All it takes is one person… and another… and another… and another… to start a movement" ~A.Heschel

The first of many about food, I do believe

In a fabulous merger of childhood desire and adult responsibility, Vons, as part of their organic line, now carries 100% juice, no sugar added, organic silver pouches that are impossible to poke through with a straw. That’s right, Capri Sun for grown-ups, and I couldn’t be happier.

I love food. I have no idea where I got that, as I have two of the pickiest parents in the world. I recall a lot of those Birdseye frozen vegetable squares from childhood (carrots, green beans and corn, oh my), along with Shake-n-bake, Campbell’s soup, and cucumbers covered in that gelatinous Wishbone Italian dressing (do you think Italy is aware we’ve sullied its good culinary name with this crap?). Usually my mom packed our lunches, including a Hi-C juice box that was never thawed by lunch, soup or sandwich, a fruit roll-up or a baggie of chocolate chips and raisins, and a quarter taped to the inside lid of my lunch box for an ice cream (the pink and white kitty litter-looking one). We were allowed to buy lunch on days it was something we liked, which was maybe twice a month. The divorce years, starting at age 9ish, through a combination of parental guilt and neglect, involved a whole lot more junk food. In other words, I had an unremarkable childhood, food-wise.

Just after my 14^th birthday I became a vegetarian. As of my past birthday I’ve been a vegetarian for more years than I haven’t (ok, well, I guess as of my 28 ½ birthday, but since I’m not 7, I don’t hold up halves of fingers when asked how many I am). Why? For the same reason you do anything else at 14; because all your friends are doing it. I went to an alternative school; all my friends, elders and teachers were hippies. It started as an animal rights/peer pressure thing, and has evolved from there. I kind of hate it when people ask me why I’m a vegetarian. Usually I say “’cause all my friends were doing it”, we laugh, and I change the subject. There are those who ask because they’re genuinely curious, and there are those who ask because they want to pick a fight. I don’t know what that’s about. I don’t preach or guilt trip, I don’t insist we eat at vegetarian restaurants, I don’t moo when you take a bite of your burger, I’ll buy meat at a store if you ask me to, I’ll flip burgers while tending the grill, just not with the same spatula. So why you gotta hate?

Woo, this blog took a different route than I expected. I think I touched on exactly one of the maybe 5 bullet points I had emailed myself as a reminder (which was Capri Sun, bee tee double-you), which I guess means I’ll be blogging about food a lot. So why am I a vegetarian? At this point I have nothing to lose. I haven’t had meat in 15 years; I honestly don’t remember what it tastes like. The smell of bacon or chicken wings still makes me salivate, but their Morningstar counterparts, to me, are meat. I’ve weighed the same since probably at 18, and while I’m lucky to crave salad-oriented foods anyway (Hi Brooke!), I don’t feel like I need to deny myself the bad food I do sometimes want. It requires a lot fewer acres and resources to feed a vegetarian than to feed an omnivore, and produces a lot less waste (poop!). I couldn’t kill an animal myself, so maybe I shouldn’t ask others to for me (dear farmers and hunters, eat all the meat you want). I would love to be more connected to my food than I am. I buy organic and/or local when it’s convenient and cheap (do we all work for non-profits? You can relate.) but I rarely go out of my way to. In a society where we’re all meant to feel guilty about every calorie we eat, I feel like I’ve got a pretty good relationship with food. I’d totally split a Best Friends heart-shaped necklace with it.

Wow, finishing a blog is nice. I wish I smoked so I could have a post-blog cigarette.

-Melissa

hey, does anybody remember...

carol moseley braun?
that candidate from the 2004 presidential race?

i guess she doesn't get much mention now because she didn't take it all the way, although i did watch her in preliminary debates at least once. if she had been elected, she would have been the first african american + woman president. according to wikipedia, she was the first and only black woman elected to the senate. she was also the first african american senator to be elected as a democrat.

i didn't vote for kerry in the primaries. i had been rooting for dean + kucinich.

excited about 2008 though--a lot of potential there!

you are all invited to my place to eat sausage soup + watch the presidential debate when it's time. (it's a tradition i started in 2004.) hmm, on second thought, this time maybe i'll ditch the sausage. ;)

tangent to björk, bathrooms, babies, and ambition

I thought I would leave an entry as opposed to a comment in response to Simone's blog.

Upon speaking to a pregnant co-worker and team member, we discussed the difficulties involved in balancing career with family-and how there is an inherent inequality between the position of men and women within the work force.

With Architecture, as am sure exists with all professions, timing is very important. One has to invest in 5 years of school, and another few years to prepare for the Architectural Registration Exams ( a grueling series of 10 tests culminating to an oral exam administered in front of a panel of architects in a hotel room) before becoming licensed in the state. This barely covers you to practice in your field legally-not to mention the extra time needed to coordinate your own projects and have them built.

Typically, architects become licensed around the age of 30-leaving hardly enough time to balance child bearing and rearing for females. In my environment at work, my pregnant co-worker struggles to achieve her title and worries about the time she will need to take off work to care for her new born. Meanwhile, our studio director (a tenaciously aggressive man) just had a baby, (meaning his wife had the baby) and has only taken one day off of work to spend time with his daughter.

I am not sure what the answer to this predicament is-I suppose only a precise balance can help women support the family they desire and the career they love. It is simply unfair for this biological burden to be placed on us. In these times, thinking of how my mother raised me and my two siblings and of all my other friend's moms who raised them on their own, keeps me optimistic...

--
"Feel free" - 5 GB Mailbox, 50 FreeSMS/Monat ...
Jetzt GMX ProMail testen: http://www.gmx.net/de/go/promail

there should be several lights that never go out...

Music News- Mamas and Papas Singer Denny Doherty Dies - AOL News

 

 

I love the Mamas and the papas, and their embodiment of free self-expression.

Mama Cass was a legend! Denny Doherty was a golden-throated wonder! Give them props y’all!  

 

 

keep your Y's and I's

Before I get started ranting and raving... It should be know that I don't like womYn spelled with a Y or boI with an I. I do like women, more then the right wing coalition would perhaps like me to. Boys are ok. I'll get down to the nitty-gritty tomorrow.

80's appeal

wouldn't it be better if today's pop stars were more like this?



i miss the 80's!

BUTCHLALIS - submitted by raquefella

Dear Friends, Acquaintances, Awkward Moments, Strange Bedfellows, Bitter Rivals, Identity Politicians, Journalists, Nature Lovers, et all:

We, the four of us in the Butchlalis de Panochtitlan, have an all new full-length show that features new work, familiar characters, and some surprises from your favorite rascally tear-jerking tear jerks and caballeros. And we invite you to come and witness, write home about or at least blog it because maybe it's just us but we think not. The collective's decided that 2007 is the year of passion and persuasion.
Maybe the L.A. Weekly catches on, maybe not. Maybe we'll actually get a gig in East L.A., maybe not. Maybe lesbians will pronounce "papi" as "pah-pee" and not "paaap-pee," maybe not.

Still...we, like a beat, go on.

BdP Get U.G.L.Y.
BUTCHLALIS DE PANOCHTITLAN
Infantilizing foursome? Nah! Just the same hot butches with brand new schemes! Expect BdP to bring the sexy wit live and always direct with these troubling and titillating images, skits and skills. New work by the furious foursome call Chicano history with a capital "H", radical femininity, transnational desire, co-dependent deities, papi perils, butch maternity, pain sluts and bitch-hood into question. Voyeurs and haters alike are forced to engage "love em or hate em" you can't kill 'em and you can't live without 'em.

FEBRUARY 23-24, 2006
8:30pm @ HIGHWAYS PERFORMANCE SPACE (www.highwaysperformance.org)
1651 18th Street, Santa Monica CA 90404
Reservation Line (310) 315-1459
$20/$15 (Senior/Student Discount With I.D.)
www.butchlalis.com - www.myspace.com/butchlalis

"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." Frederick Douglass

Introducing: myself

thanks, first of all, to simone for inviting me. i am impressed by the project and grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts with like-minded women.

hello! i'm da and i thought i'd introduce myself to this community of writers in my first post.

in a nutshell: da/22/chinese/almost med-student/sf bay area

i was destined to be a feminist at the age of six. at the age of six, i realized (as much as my six-year-old mind could) that my mother was unhappy because of unfair and unfounded gendered expectations. by the time i hit middle school, my mom thought i'd be a bitter man-hating lesbian when i grew up.

in high school, i was driven to prove anything and anyone wrong, especially those who thought my eventual and proper place in life would be in the kitchen (my grandma's expectations, mostly). but, i shied away from the label 'feminist' because those that used the label also used leg hair (or lack thereof) as a political statement.

college was definitely a fun time. i was both in a sorority and part of the women's community center. at first these seem like diabolically opposed organizations with opposite goals, but in reality, today's young women want many of the same broad things: opportunity, individuality, success (however it may be defined), happiness.

currently, i'm doing a gap/research/slacker year until i go to med school this august. i'm sure med school will give me more fodder for feminist musings.

anyway, kudos to simone, et al; i think this is a great project - i hope it helps generate the momentum we need to define feminism for our generation!

björk, bathrooms, babies, and ambition

one of my biggest and silliest work-related fears is that someday the president/CEO of my place of employment will walk in on me in the bathroom. all the ladies on this floor, including she and i, share the same small single-toilet restroom.

women hold virtually all the key leadership positions at my workplace.

as i consider my career options and the possibility of grad school, i have to imagine what my future life could be like if i get my wish for a successful career in the museum biz. the only tricky thing is, when i take a hard look at the women at my workplace who do hold these leadership positions, sometimes it makes me reconsider and reevaluate my definition of success. is it's naive for me to believe that it's truly possible to have it all-- both a satisfying career and a happy personal life, the ultimate goals to which i've been working towards? could i be happy if having a secure professional life meant sacrificing my desire for kids? could i feel complete with a long-term partner/husband but no job? if i HAD to pick just one, which would it be? i hope for the best, but am unsure how these sometimes conflicting elements will reconcile themselves.

i'm not afraid of success. i don't shy away from challenges. i just want to be realistic when i think about what i'm working towards.

i think about how much time women in management roles spend at work or on the road, away from family and other loved ones, those who, in my opinion, make life worth living. if i ever have kids, i don't want to be the absentee mom-- the one who never goes to school events, only spends 5 hrs/week with her kids, devotes the bulk of her life to work, and has a nanny or family member do the real mothering. same goes for quality time with a partner or spouse. at the same time, i'm definitely not cut out for the role of full-time homemaker/wife. it's very important to me to always be financially independent. in general, i do enjoy working and participating in a world outside of my own personal bubble.

i was raised by a single mother, who managed to successfully be a financially responsible, devoted parent. because she was a teacher who worked similar hours to my school schedule, i never felt like i was lacking parental attention/affection. growing up in that atmosphere, i never realized the delicate and difficult balance that often exists when women juggle their personal and professional commitments.

here's an excerpt from a related björk article from 2005. she was 39 at the time of the interview, which was conducted shortly after the birth of her baby w/ matthew barney-

She's open about the problems of balancing family and work. 'It's incredible how nature sets females up to take care of people, and yet it is tricky for them to take care of themselves.' Slightly to her astonishment she is becoming interested in women's rights. Because of her mother's own militancy - 'she wouldn't enter the kitchen, I mean come on' - she reacted the other way, adoring housework, knitting and sewing.

But recently, 'I have been noticing how much harder it is for me and my girlfriends to juggle things than it is for men. In the 1990s, there was a lot of optimism: we thought we'd finally sorted out equal rights for men and women ... and then suddenly it just crashed. I think this is my first time in all the hundreds of interviews I've done, that I've actually jumped on the feminist bandwagon. In the past I always wanted to change the subject. But I think now it's time to bring up all these issues. I wish it wasn't, but I'll do it, I'm up for doing the dirty work!'

Will it inspire new songs? 'It's definitely brewing inside me. Maybe if Medulla was my personal, idiosyncratic statement about politics, whatever I do next is going to be my eccentric view of feminism. It's like any major upheaval, whether it's the revolution in France or punk for me in the 1970s, you break up all the corruption and fuck up all the bad things, so you can start really fresh. But it's the law of nature that it all settles again, so you have to keep checking yourself. You can't ever say, "OK, we sorted out corruption and everyone is equal." So I might become a feminist in my old age!'

Born Björk Gudmundsdottir in Reykjavik in 1965, she grew up in a hippy commune with her mother and stepfather, a blues musician. 'I was brought up feeling that my mother had sacrificed herself for me. Fortunately she's now got a little business doing homeopathy from home, but she's almost 60. I'm still desperate to get over that sense of guilt. I don't want my baby to feel that.'

MLK Jr. Holiday

It's Martin Luther King day here in the US.

I'm disappointed that many years after the Civil Rights Movement, we're still fighting prejudice. Let me tell you of something that happened to me and how, in our own small way, we can fight it.

A friend of mine told me about a meeting he had with some executives. One of the board members asked "Isn't Monday a holiday?" "Yes" said the VP and continued, "Just think. If we'd of shot six more of those n*****s, we could of had a whole week off!"
The first thing I asked my friend who relayed this story, "Weren't you shocked? Didn't you say something about how that offended you?"
"Um, no."
"Did anyone laugh at that disgusting joke?" I asked.
"Yeah, they did." He said.
"Did YOU laugh?"
"No. I thought it was a terrible joke" He said.
"Why didn't you SAY that??" I said, shocked by his ability to keep quiet. I would have ripped them a new one. :)
"Well", my friend said, "I don't know. I just let it go."

Just let it go. How many times do we "just let it go" and keep quiet? I'm tired of letting it go. I'm so tired of it that the next time the situation came up, I strongly voiced my anger at the disparaging comment. Now, of course, I'm labeled as a trouble maker. I don't care. People of the Civil Rights Movement suffered a lot more than just the embarrassment of being mocked by others. I'm tired of gay jokes, women bashing jokes, the list could go on....

"What's the harm?" someone said. "They're just jokes." It's not the jokes that are so disgusting (well, yeah, that's it too), but it's the people laughing when they should be standing up and saying "Wait a minute. That's very offensive."

I may not be marching, but I'm trying to do my best in my own little world.

Peace and love to all of my sisters (and brothers who may be reading this.)

~Joanneeeeeeeeeeeee

Julia's Introduction

[submitted via email]

Julia/26/Hispanic-Italian/English Teacher

Hi, everyone! I know I'm a little late in introducing myself to the party, but I brought sake so I hope it's all right. I'm Julia and I'm signing on from a quiet internet cafe in Japan, where I very recently moved in order to teach English. I had what one might call my "quarter life crisis" in 2006 - I decided that while I loved my city (NYC, represent!!) and my absolutely amazing friends and family that I needed a complete change. So I got my international teaching certificate, quit my despised job of 4 years and arrived in Japan exactly one week ago. So far, my Japanese honeymoon is quite nice - I am meeting fun new people and have started job training. Now if I could just hone my "duck!!! it's another bicycle on the sidewalk!!!" spidey sense things would be even better. Thanks to Simone for inviting me to post with all of you - it is nice to finally get to have some
interaction (albeit digital) with some of you whose names I have heard before but never actually gotten to meet (congratulations on your engagement, Dolly!) I might not be able to post as often as I would like until I get internet service in my itsy bitsy teeny weeny Japanese apartment-tini but I will do my best.

And now I have to go get some homework done for my training class tomorrow. And find some salt - I have a vision of making pasta tonight. Let's just hope I can remember the hiragana signs for "shio."

love fest time

hi ladies.

i've enjoyed reading every single entry that's been posted on here!! i get so excited every time i check the site and see a new entry.

if you're reading but haven't posted yet, i urge you to TRY IT. go ahead, do a sample post, and see how you like it. it feels good.

you don't need to be a "contributor" to contribute to the wwm! anyone can post.

we've recently put a link to posting directions on the left side of the site, for easy reference, along with our statement of intent. they're also in our blogger profile .

Traveling Solo

As a Sagitarius, I like to get out and travel and be free. But as a woman is it really possible to travel and be free? Not really. We constantly need to look over our shoulders and in some countries make sure that we are dressing appropriately. Anyway, I bring this up because recently a friend from high school just got back from traveling all over Mexico for two weeks. I was jealous for two reasons. 1) He got to take the time off to travel 2) He went solo. As he told me about his trip I was in awe of something I will never be able to do. Maybe that is pessimistic but I think it is close to the truth. Women aren't able to enjoy the same privilege as men when it comes to traveling solo. I don't think it even crossed my friend's mind, how lucky he is. I don't think I'd want to travel all the time solo because I think part of the beauty of traveling is sharing the experience with someone but every so often it might be nice.

sisterhood of the traveling habits

ok, let's talk about a whole 'nother type of sisterhood.

am i the only one who is intrigued by the nun lifestyle?

as a non-religious person, i have a shocking confession to make:
curious about many aspects of nuns' lives and the inner-workings of convents, there was a short time when i considered becoming a nun. i can't clearly put into words why it appealed to me, but i guess there was just something interesting about what extreme lives nuns live (more so than priests because sisters generally seem to have less interaction w/ the public). alas, i lack both the religious conviction (like i said earlier) and the penchant for self-denial necessary for the job. i'd never be able to pull it off!

i had forgotten about it all until my mom, my special friend (to quote nitoito noelle), and i recently went to a holiday boutique at a nearby convent, and i found myself totally fascinated by the world of nuns all over again. although the catholic church is mostly geared toward worship of male gods (e.g. the holy trinity of god the father, god the son (jesus), and the vaguely male holy spirit), convents seem to be such unique female-centric communities. they're one-of-a-kind, female-positive environments, or so i'd like to believe.

i'd like to start an oral history project interviewing nuns. i want to engage in some candid discussions with these sisters. i'm dying to know:
where they're from
when they got religious/if they always wanted to be nuns
what they like about their lifestyle
what they hate about their lifestyle
what they do for fun
what kind of music they like
what their political views are
what they think about feminism
if they think the church is sexist in any way(s)
what they really think about priests
what their families and friends think about their vocation
what the biggest misconception about nuns is

i wonder if i'd be surprised by their answers. i'd really like to hear more from them in their own words-- maybe i should advertise women's writes at the convent.

Our Founding Fathers

A very special thanks to Simone and Doll, for manifesting their vision of an un-biased platform with which to speak our minds. This is the start of something so important and so simple: an opportunity to understand each other better, and to create empathy, a sense of community and a safe space to confide. As we all learn to exercise this new form of communication, let me first say a special thank you to our founding fathers.
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another introduction

my name is also noelle, i am also 27 and i also work in downtown la, in the creative department at american apparel. i even caught a glimpse of the same red and yellow balloons yesterday morning, around 5th and central. there's a word for this sort of thing - happenstance, also the (english) title of another movie starring audrey tautou a.k.a. amélie, who i have also had similarities to in appearance and demeanor noted: i'm also 5'2" with short dark hair, enjoy devising strategems, and i'm nobody's weasel.

Intros & Balloons

Noelle/27/Japanese American/ Fund Development for Nonprofit

Hello fellow ladies! Thanks to Simone for including me in on this fun project! I know it will inspire me to write more frequently see I rarely post on my personal blog. Anyway, it is nice to meet you ladies and already great things are happening like engagements, empowerment, and smiles!

A side note about me: I have a strange sense of humor and happiness. Kinda like the movie Amelie. I am amused by small things and if you ask Miles (my special friend ☺ I hate the word “boyfriend”), he would confirm that I like to imagine googlie eyes on inanimate objects.

Now on to my first entry…
Yesterday I was driving around downtown LA doing some work errands like buying paper, snacks and postage when I came across a very unique sight. Although depressing, it made me smile and for some reason gave me a bit of hope. Generally when I step outside of my office I come across a huge homeless community many chilling on the sidewalk, some doing drugs, some reading, etc. I was driving down 4th Street (a one way street) right in the heart of Skid Row just a block away from my office and from a distance I could see these two balloon columns. You know the kind with the big balloon on top and the other smaller balloons spiraling down to make a column of balloons. They were bright red and yellow. I thought someone must be picking them up for a party but as I drove closer I realized they were each in their own shopping cart being pushed by a very smiley homeless woman. The columns must have been about 8 feet tall. They had quite a presence in Skid Row. She pushed them up the street near the gutter and although I am sure her life is quite tough, she seemed so happy with her balloons. I smiled as I drove by.

On my way back from running errands, I was driving up 3rd St. and happened to look down one of the side streets. The first thing I noticed was the two balloon columns again, one on each side of the street while the same woman took a rest on the sidewalk. It’s amazing how a simple piece of latex blown up by helium can bring smiles to faces.

This entry is dedicated to the numerous homeless women who struggle to survive and provide for their families.

eating as protest, part 2

this is a real diary entry i wrote in 2005. the memory of this experience is what prompted me to write my earlier entry.

i'm so glad that on international women's day i have a good friend like noelle, who will proudly sit next to me at lunch, unafraid to dig into a good meal...this afternoon, we had another "interesting" lunch with [name omitted to protect the guilty], who has sadly morphed into a future stepford wife. in addition to being buick-phobic, she is apparently carb and dairy phobic now as well. (sad, sad, sad.) [unnamed] and her co-worker/friend were amazed that noelle and i would go so far as to order burgers (as opposed to their pathetic "burger bowl" salads), fries, and milkshakes at all, let alone in the same meal. they even went so far as to comment, "wow, you guys are going crazy!" and "it's like a party!" um, no...it's not a party, sweetie- it's called EATING LUNCH.

i mean, for god's sake! they were actually on a "jamba juice for lunch" diet together a while back (probably while noelle and i were eating nothing but PAD THAI and thai iced beverages ;) ...AND [nameless]'s friend actually said she would never, ever order a milkshake because if she did, she'd have to kill herself afterwards! (this girl also thinks britney spears is fat.) [this was pre-pregnancy britney, wink.]

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!

nameless and her friend obviously aspired to mainstream american media's (+ society's) definition of the ideal + desirable woman, but for what?! self-deprivation and malnourishment aren't my cup of tea. ;) what's the point in being "ideal" if your stomach's growling all the time?

untitled by anonymous

this morning in my yahoo bulk folder, i received a message from gaspar
estrada entitled "court ponytail."

as they say in internet parlance, wtf?

crazy spam.

the hate bond is the strongest

this morning, wearing my headphones (silent signal to strangers that i want to be left alone) and walking to work from union station, a fellow pedestrian and i were cut off by a jackass in a silver sports car.

i shook my head with disgust. above the buzz of my headphones, i heard her grumpily mutter, "asshole." i looked at her and we shared mutual looks of disdain for said asshole. she said, "i hate people! they're unnecessarily RUDE." i shook my head in agreement. two random, cynical strangers whose paths crossed somewhere on alameda street, we experienced a powerful shared moment of bonding before i dashed across the street to catch the green signal.

officiants, and florists, and rings, oh my!

I'm engaged. Go ahead, attach or insert any emotion you'd like for I am encircled by them all. I'm amazed most of all for I never thought, being a person who tried to remain an island unto herself, I would ever want eternal commitment. But here's the thing, now I DO. It’s quite liberating to realize that companionship and categorical love does exist; I mean, I always knew it did, but it’s nice to know that I can indulge in my share of the love pie too. (Did I just say love pie? Please, don’t run with that one! I know it was wrong on a multitude of levels).
Yet, despite my love for one man, I do not love the trip getting to the altar! They should really call it an alter cuz @ the end of this long debacle, which is wedding planning, my core-self will me forever be changed. Everyone has something to say about something…yeesh! It’s hard for some to accept our plan for a small, non-traditional affair with immediate family, and maybe a few friends thrown in the mix. We desire this type of ceremony etc., because it reflects us as a couple…low pro! I’m not fond of all the smoke and mirror aspects of traditional ceremonies/receptions, i.e., walking down an aisle, bouquet/garter toss, $1 dance etc. It’s for some, but maybe not for me…still undecided @ this point. Maybe I’m just too cynical?
Although, I won’t lie and say that I’m not entirely above oohing and aahing over colors schemes and wedding favor ideas; it’s actually quite nice to fuss over the stereotypical “girlie” aspects of wedding planning, and I even found myself longing to see the linen selections our wedding venue had to offer. Who knew I was such a dork? But overall, I want (and look forward to) simplicity, a few drinks, and (cue the soft jazz and dim the lights) the love of my new husband on my wedding day. Guffaw, guffaw, guffaw.

eating as protest

when my friend noelle s. and i get really mad, "mad as hell and we're not gonna take it anymore"-mad, we eat.

we eat to protest unnatural thinness and unrealistic images of women perpetuated by the media.
we eat to protest stepford singles (stepford wives-in-training).
we eat to protest salad-only eaters.
we eat to show that we're not afraid of carbs.
we eat to encourage other women to do the same.

we are well aware of the health threats posed by diabetes and obesity. we eat heartily, but we don't necessarily OVEReat! we just have healthy appetites for life and food, and we're not afraid to show it.

food-based life enhancement is what we're about!

Road Trip '07 - kind of long, sorry

Okay, so I just got back from a 4,700 mile road trip from Los Angeles to Jacksonville, Florida and back (we covered eight states). My boyfriend and I traveled to Florida to spend the holidays with his parents, who obviously live in Florida. Here are some of my observations that I made about America and her people (well, the ones who live in the southern part of the country):

There are shitty drivers everywhere. Bad driving is not exclusive to one state, city, sex or even race. I’m sorry but as a whole, Americans are bad drivers. And NO ONE makes a complete stop at a Stop sign. Don’t get me started on driving in the rain and snow….

People are still taking road trips. Here I thought the whole family going on a cross country road trip was dead but it isn’t; it is alive and well. Along our drive my boyfriend and I kept track of all the different states we saw on the license plates. I think we saw a good collection of them (Maine, Wisconsin, Tennessee, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Alaska, Colorado, Oregon, Oklahoma, and lots of other Californians). There are still families out there traveling with their luggage on the top of the car, okay, so now the kids can watch DVDs the entire drive instead of keeping themselves busy playing the A, B, C game, or car bingo (I loved that game), or God forbid, reading a book, but the important part is that the kids are still in the car going to new places and seeing new things.

Americans, on a whole, are friendly and helpful.

The country is full of weird billboards alongside our big interstate highways. The one that kept catching my attention is the ad for vasectomy reversal. Who is this billboard for exactly? Is there some man out there, driving the 10 highway that sees this and thinks “oh, that’s right, I need to get my vasectomy reversed. Let me stop the car and write down that 1-800 number.” That billboard was in all 8 states. Oh, and I did see one billboard advertising vasectomies – they only cost a few hundred bucks. Let me know if you need the number....

The people in the southeast like to think that they are religious. As soon as you hit Texas, all you see is churches. The smallest of town, ones that don’t even have a light, have at least 5 or 6 churches and the churches have billboards and signs out on the street inviting you to join them.

Driving a Land Rover is fun and my boyfriend trusts me. Okay, this observation isn’t about Americans, just me. I drove my boyfriend’s Land Rover (his most prized possession) through most of Texas and I discovered that being in those giant vehicles that you can’t see past, is actually really nice. It’s nice to be up high and be able to see everything. And while driving, my boyfriend napped, which surprised me. I guess he felt safe enough to close his eyes with me driving his expensive vehicle – good to know!

New Years is the best when you are with the person you love the most in this world – you don’t need millions of other people. Boyfriend and I spent New Years Eve in a Comfort Inn in Panama City Beach, Florida – just the two of us and it was the best New Years I’ve ever had.

The trip back from Florida we stopped at some great spots in this country, Dirty Dick’s Crab Shack (really good restaurant by the way), The Alamo, which I thought would be bigger, and Billy the Kid’s gravesite, which looks pretty cool covered in snow. We also stayed with my somewhat weird aunt and uncle outside of Roswell, New Mexico (and then later made the trek to the International UFO Museum & Research Center which is really cool – if you have the chance – go). I visited an old friend in Albuquerque who is now on her second husband and has three children – God am I getting old (I have zero husbands and zero children)! Also visited my alma mater, Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff (again, covered in snow). It was fun to see my old stomping grounds but it wasn’t the same – winter break so the campus was deserted – must go again in the spring.

It was nice to get home and sleep in my own bed after two weeks of a variety of different pillows and mattresses. It was nice to not have to get in a car and drive 4 hours to get somewhere. It’s nice to not have to eat out anymore (I’m sure I’ve gained back all the weight I recently lost on Weight Watchers…oh well). I am glad to be home but I miss my boyfriend. After spending every hour with someone for two weeks straight it’s weird to have us go to separate places all day. We had a great time together – traveling with your best friend is one of the most fun things you can do in this world. But it is nice to be home safe and sound…that is until our next road trip.

OOooo, my first blog! It's not deep, I muse to amuse.

I don’t know if I should call this “Why I Hate the Telephone” or “Why I Love Slash Hate Craigslist”. Either way, right there, two important things to know about me. I avoid talking on the phone, especially initiating the call, at all costs. Email and text messaging are my best friends, or at least how I talk to them. I found my apartment and most of its contents on Craigslist. So a few months ago I bought this stackable washer/dryer situation from Craigslist. Long, annoying story short, I couldn’t use it in my apartment and couldn’t return it from whence it came. So I relisted it for the same price I paid, explained the situation, and waited for the buyers to come rolling in. Roll they did not, but there was some e-trickle, and after all, I only needed one buyer. I emailed back and forth with this one guy for the better part of a Saturday, answering questions and stuff, and eventually he just disappeared. Flakearoonied. So I just started giving out my phone number when people emailed. I needed to get this over with; my landlord was bugging me about the washer being in the back yard, and even I was a little concerned that I was one slippery slope away from having late 70s American cars sans wheels propped up on cinder blocks and/or under tarps out back. So anyway, later that week I was tooling around with my friend Malika who was in town for a visit (in a fully functional, mid-00s Japanese car, FYI), and my celly blows up, and it’s a number I don’t know. “Sweet, Imma sell my washer!” I think, and probably say out loud. Aloud. And here’s how our conversation went, (for the duration of this blog, a set of ellipses represents an awkward pause of anywhere from 3 to 15 seconds. And “Sarah” should be read in a surfer/stoner drawl.):

Me: Hello?
Sarah: …Uh, hi. It’s Sarah
M: Oh, hi, how are you?
S: Um, good…
M: You’re calling about the washer, right?
S: Yeah.
M: …OK, well, so you know it’s electric, right? It’s got a big appliance plug.
S: Yeah. Oh. Wait. So it’s like, a bigger plug?
M: Yeah, I know it’s hard to tell from the picture, but it’s like 2 or 3 times the size of a normal plug. I couldn’t use the washer after I bought it because my landlord wouldn’t let us change the outlet. (Note: I had described in detail and posted a picture of said plug.)
S: Ooohhh, ok, yeah, I don’t have that kind of outlet.
M: Ah, ok, well, I guess that answers that, then.
S: …Yeah.
M: ….Soooo, I mean, unless you think your landlord would let you change your outlet, I guess it won’t work for you.
S: Nah, he’s kind of a slumlord, I don’t think he’d be down.
M: OK, well, I guess it won’t work out then. I’m sorry, that sucks!
S: Yeah.
M: …But, um, thanks for responding to the ad!
S: Sure, yeah…
M: …Ok, then, bye.

So I hung up, and Malika said “You were so sweet. It sounded like you tried to end the conversation like 15 times” and I filled her in on the half that she couldn’t hear. I really don’t know what was going on. The girl was very nice the whole time, she just sounded like a flakey, stoner kind of girl. My first thought was that she was, like, trying to get it cheaper or something because it wasn’t what she needed, but in the ad I made it pretty clear that I was desperate to get rid of this thing and would take just about any offer. Steffen’s theory was that I had inadvertently used some secret Craigslist drug code or something. “Oh, shit, man, did you see the post for an ELECTRIC stackable washer/dryer! ELECTRIC?! That shit is sooooo hard to come by, man!” I probably ruined the evening for Sarah and all her friends. They were going to have a big “stack” party because Sarah was going to score some for real cheap off Craigslist. Really, though, if you’re not familiar with the phenomenon that is Craigslist, go take a look, especially in the “wanted” section. People are willing to trade “purple footballs made by Pfizer” for “420”. It’s subtle. What on earth could they be talking about? They should make an urban dictionary, but for Craigslist. “I’ll swing by tonight” is code for “Hang around your apartment all evening and don’t make any plans, and be prepared to get annoyed, ‘cause I ain’t coming over.”

You know, I think I have an old Nerf lying around; it looks like I could get a couple bucks for it. How’s this for a catchy headline: “Purple Football. $4.20 obo. Ask for TINA*”. And when they respond, I can see if they also want some Stack.

*That’s “Tits and Ass” in CL-speak.

-Melissa

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