Okay, I'm having a feminist crisis. My boyfriend's vehicle is being fixed this week, so I have been doing the driving to and from work (we carpool) and found that I get really nervous with him in the car. I don't know why. I also find myself defending what I am doing and why. For example: "I'm going to get over in the other lane after this car," "I'm only going 70 because my car doesn't like to go fast," etc. Suddenly I can't change lanes without his help "can I get over?"
Now, I don't usually question my driving skills and have never been in an accident (unlike the boyfriend, whose name is David, by the way) so why am I nervous and questioning everything I am doing?
And let me add that he isn't a backseat driver - he doesn't say things - I say things before he has the chance, or so I think.
I also ramble on and on like me talking is somehow going to distract him from paying attention to my driving.
Although, we've been together more than a year (and have lived together for several months), he's only driven with me in my car a few times. His car is way nicer (has air conditioning) so he usually drives us to work everyday and anywhere else we go together.
And one last thing, I know he trusts me and my driving skills. I have started driving his vehicle even without him as a passenger - obviously he trusts me. He has never once said anything to make me think that he doesn't like my driving...so why am I freaking out about this?
In my defense, I am not used to driving with passengers in the car. I used to drive to work all alone everyday as I used to live 5 minutes from my job. And anytime I went anywhere with people they usually drove because they have nicer cars. And this doesn't happen in any other situation with David. That said...
As a feminist, I am very dissapointed in myself about this whole situation. So I am asking my fellow feminists/strong women - any ideas/suggestions for me? Anybody else have this problem? Does it go away?
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4 comments:
It does go away. I've definitely experienced similar feelings. Just pull a Stuart Smalley (is that his name?) "I'm a safe driver, I have good reflexes, and doggone it, I look cute behind the wheel" or something like that. Society at large hasn't exactly helped us feel like more competent drivers. Despite the statistics (have you SEEN the rates to drive as a teenage boy?!), women somehow are the ones who are the worse-driving sex. I say we all start carrying around statistics sheets to thrust in the face of the next person to grumble about female drivers or grip the door handle and stomp the phantom brake while we're driving.
I'll drive with you anytime, Brookie, especially to starbucks, like, right now, please.
I'd like to clarify that David is not a crazy driver - yeah he may drive a little fast at times but who doesn't? And the accident that he was in was not his fault.
I think you answered your own question: "I am not used to driving with passengers in the car."
In my opinion, it's as simple as that. Buckle up and relax, Brooke. You're fine!
:)
maybe, it's a general anxiety over having another body in the car, cuz I'm like that too.
Like you, i'm used to driving solo, so when I have other peeps (especially new ones) in the car, i'm chattier and excessively apologetic over tiny mishaps. When I first drove with others, "sorry" should have been on the air freshener! And, I’d constantly asked other for help…when making left-hand turns, I couldn't move unless my passenger thought it was safe too! But you sooo get over all of that! I know you and your self-confidence, so I think it has more to do with a new passenger, rather than a male one :) it'll all be good in yr hood, brooke!
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