When I was young, I had a deep penchant for grocery shopping. Nothing thrilled me more than my dad (who by-stepped gender lines & did all of the household shopping) electing me to tag along on his shopping adventure. Well, it was an adventure for me, but more of a business venture for him. Y'see, while I reveled in being able to “play store” in the real world, my dad marveled over the knowledge that, with a brick-like stack of coupons in his hand, he could waltz out of Alpha-Beta with $200+ worth of groceries for half the amount. His action was a snub against “the man” who figured that the population at large wouldn’t set aside time to collect, let alone cut out and organize tiny, colorful pieces of supermarket currency. Well, my dad was wise; he knew, that a family of twelve was not going to eat much if he didn’t find loopholes in the food industry.
So, growing up, I was a mega lo mart gal. I was brought up in supermarkets, k-marts, and safeways. But in time, w/the exceptional lazy jaunts to Vons, I morphed into a Trader Joe's woman. As I got older and began living on my own, my health consciousness increased with each year; if I didn't start tending to my body now, I'd pay financially and emotionally later with increased risks for disease. Despite those fast food impulses, which pounce on my self-rule from time to time, I vowed to be more healthful and limit the amount of foreign, and sometimes toxic, substances entering my bloodstream. Since LA air is 30 proof in toxin levels, and we're asked to block out UV rays with a vat of sunscreen, the natural way I found to sustain a more organic lifestyle was monitoring what I ate. Not only was I improving my eating habits, but I saved some green by eating green.
This epiphany altered my mindset and, I thought, everyone should have the luxury of eating healthy foods. But why isn't this the case? The transition from single to married life has me beached @ my mom's house in El Sereno for a few weeks. In this time, I have become outraged @ the lack of healthy food choices accessible to inner city families. The closest market to my mom's is Albertson's, where with $200, my brother and I barely bought enough food to last our family of five for a week. I was incensed, not only by the lack of organic food choices, but at the steep price tags attached to semi-edible crap!
A dozen cage-free eggs @ TJ's is 99 cents; a dozen “who knows” eggs is around $4 @ your local Albertsons. A loaf of bread w/natural ingredients is $2 @ TJ's, but @ Albertsons, yup, $4 for nutrient free slices. Sure you can get the cheap stuff, but the cheap stuff is...well...CHEAP! The market did carry a few organic lines, but they were often 2-3x the amount as the processed stuff. If you live in the inner city and shop for a family of five, what are your thoughts? If you're of lower income and grasp tightly to ever cent earned, which item are you ultimately going to reach for: expensive, but organic, or cheap and plentiful?
Well, why don't urban families just go to TJ's? They do not bc of awareness and the proximity of such stores. My mom always though TJ’s was a posh and pricey joint; and, if she did decide to go there, she only has one to frequent, which is 15+ minutes away. At the end of the day, she's going to go to Albertsons bc it's 5 minutes from her house. When I lived in Pasadena, I had 3 TJ's to choose from! And, they were all about a 5-minute drive.
In essence, it's easy to suggest that people clip their coupons and try to eat more healthy. Yes, they should drive the 15+ minutes if it means saving $$$ and getting quality food. But why can't a person merely go to their local market and get wholesome food w/out having to take out a 2nd mortgage? Why are the simple things...the fundamentals of life hard to attain in our society? Capitalism? I suppose. Yeesh! And DON’T even get me started about gas prices!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
"F*ck you b*tch! It's my turn."
These were the words uttered - no, shouted - at me around 1 AM this morning by a complete stranger.
I, too, was on my way home, minding my own business, IN MY OWN CAR. You'd think that at that point you should be safe from unwanted harassment.
Let me tell you the story.
I was on the freeway home after a lovely, but late, evening out. There were some road repairs so the normally 5-lane traffic becomes 1 lane. Here I am, amongst this stop-and-go traffic in the dead of night, when some big truck tries to forcefully cut me off - no signaling or anything.
Now, I generally do not take to anyone's manipulation easily. Likewise, I inched forward to indicate that, no, that's kind of a dick move, sir.
The driver (white male, mid- to late- thirties) opens his door in the middle of traffic, gets out of his huge Ford (250?) truck, and shouts at me through my windshield, "FUCK YOU BITCH! IT'S MY TURN."
I am smaller than he is and my car is smaller than his. Maybe I should have just run him over, but can someone please explain what in the world I could have done to respond to this?
I simply switched lanes and drove away. But I wish I could have expressed, in no uncertain terms, how inappropriate and unacceptable his words and behavior is. It was the one time I wish I carried a gun, just to overcome this stupid difference in intimidation potential.
I, too, was on my way home, minding my own business, IN MY OWN CAR. You'd think that at that point you should be safe from unwanted harassment.
Let me tell you the story.
I was on the freeway home after a lovely, but late, evening out. There were some road repairs so the normally 5-lane traffic becomes 1 lane. Here I am, amongst this stop-and-go traffic in the dead of night, when some big truck tries to forcefully cut me off - no signaling or anything.
Now, I generally do not take to anyone's manipulation easily. Likewise, I inched forward to indicate that, no, that's kind of a dick move, sir.
The driver (white male, mid- to late- thirties) opens his door in the middle of traffic, gets out of his huge Ford (250?) truck, and shouts at me through my windshield, "FUCK YOU BITCH! IT'S MY TURN."
I am smaller than he is and my car is smaller than his. Maybe I should have just run him over, but can someone please explain what in the world I could have done to respond to this?
I simply switched lanes and drove away. But I wish I could have expressed, in no uncertain terms, how inappropriate and unacceptable his words and behavior is. It was the one time I wish I carried a gun, just to overcome this stupid difference in intimidation potential.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
a post!
Hello, Women's Writes. Julia here - you might recall that several months ago I introduced myself to the group and then vanished. I'm an English teacher in Japan and months of living without internet in my apartment plus adjusting to my international move and
new career have severely affected my internetting habits for which I apologize - Women's Writes is such a great movement and I've seen a lot of great posts here since it began. I really wish I had posted more often. I read a post here yesterday by the wonderful miss Simone that finally inspired me to move my rear end and add my two cents.
new career have severely affected my internetting habits for which I apologize - Women's Writes is such a great movement and I've seen a lot of great posts here since it began. I really wish I had posted more often. I read a post here yesterday by the wonderful miss Simone that finally inspired me to move my rear end and add my two cents.
In her last post, Simone writes on the topic of female vulnerability. When I read her post, my thoughts immediately went to a conversation I had recently had with another female teacher at my school. She told me that one night, she was coming home on the subway and had an experience quite similar to Simone's when a creepy fellow began to follow her and ask her leading questions. She didn't choose earphones to ward off the scumbucket, however - she chose an imaginary boyfriend.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I have to go. My boyfriend is waiting for me and I need to meet him." The would-be pervert nodded and vanished without another word.
When she told me this story, I was relieved that the creep had gone away, but I couldn't help thinking howunfortunate it was that she had had to invent a man as a form of protection. Worse, the knowledge that despite my own raging aversion to depending on men, I might have very well done the same thing. A would-be attacker seems to think preying on a lone female is
fine but often backs off when a big, strong man is in the picture - someone who could potentially give him trouble. The lie often comes instinctively in a big, spastic blurt before one can remember their wits: "I'm sorry, I don't know the time but I have to go because
my boyfriend is waiting for me. Yep, I sure love Gunther - I'm so proud of him! He's a second-degree blackbelt in karate and he might make the third degree tonight...!"
A similar lie is often told when an undesirable fellow asks us out: "I'm flattered," we gush, "... but, unfortunately, I have a boyfriend." We rationalize the lie by telling ourselves that it is the quickest, easiest way to spare the other guy's feelings, but what the lie actually says is "I don't have the strength and confidence to say 'no' to you because I want to - I need to invent another man to provide a viable excuse as to why I don't want to date you."
Despite having used this ploy at times in my life, I resent it. I resent that after centuries of attempts to be viewed as equal to men - gaining the vote, demanding control over our bodies, carving out financially and emotionally independent lives - we still sometimes resort to needing male protection. Somehow, even the imaginary threat of a man seems to be better protection than, say, our pepper spray or even our ipod earphones.
As I type this, I am chatting via IM with my (male) friend back home for feedback. He says he doesn't see why it is so bad for females to need male protection - women are, after all, generally weaker/smaller thanmen ("And wait, you weren't upset when I walked you home from work that night, were you??"); therefore it's a fact of life that we might need male protection from other males. I know my friend means well but I am nonetheless getting upset. And I am probably getting upset because I know that ultimately, he has a point.
I know I'm physically smaller and weaker than a man. I know that in nature, animals fear what might hurt them and at 4'11" and under 100 pounds I just don't pose that threat. I know that when I walk home with my 6 foot tall boyfriend (who actually is a 2nd degree black belt in karate) I am more likely to seem like too much trouble to deal with. I know that even if I,
too, became a black belt in karate or an ace with a knife I would still seem like an easy target on sight if I walked home alone at night - until I donned a yellow jumpsuit and with my katana blade slit the rat bastard from navel to nose (yes, I watched Kill Bill last night). Until I can do that, though (and the chances of that are likely to none) I know I am still an easier target than a man.
And that is a thought I absolutely hate.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
i didn't mean to turn you on
more proof that bad things happen when i'm not armed with my headphones-
while reading my book on the train this morning (feminist anthology no less), i noticed a stranger approaching out of the corner of my eye. i did the polite thing and lifted my bag onto my lap so that said stranger could sit on one of the adjacent seats.
stranger sat on the seat next to me.
a few seconds later i hear (in obvious come-on voice), "hey. you look familiar."
dismayed i quietly murmur, "hi." (i am shocked at how soft and gentle my voice sounds when uttering these words.) it's one of the rare moments when i don't have my headphones to act as a barrier that shields me from unwanted discussion. i silently curse myself for forgetting to charge my ipod. i look up to see who this dude is and am startled to see that this man has a severely burned face. still, he has the balls to talk to me when i am clearly occupied with reading my book.
the husky voice comes back with "do you live in highland park?"
"no."
"got a boyfriend?"
i nod yes, not even looking up this time.
some seconds later he walks away.
for a brief moment, i feel guilty for the brush off, wondering if i was too rude, but this feeling quickly fades into relief. it was relatively quick & painless. my anxiety level drops back to normal.
it's difficult for me to explain the degree to which i sincerely hate these types of exchanges. i feel pressured by and highly resentful of this interaction. i can't help but feel as though the pursuing males in question want ownership of me and my time, both of which they have no right to claim. there's a certain privilege inherent in it, you know? the feeling that "hey, i know you're busy with something else, but i'll just interrupt you anyway so that i can hit on you."
at the same time, i've always been taught to be nice and courteous, so although i never welcome this attention, i continue to struggle with brushing it off. i can't understand this. (why should i even care if a total stranger thinks i'm a bitch?) i've chalked it up to deeply ingrained social/cultural training. i also wonder if this particular socialization (to always behave politely) explains why i've often been misunderstood by both men and women. in high school i remember classmates describing me as "quiet" and "shy" or "happy" and "always smiling"-- words that i would never choose to describe myself.
i've heard guys say that they sometimes wish for the type of unsolicited attention women receive on the regular (via catcalls, scandalous glances, come-ons, etc.) or the comment that "you should enjoy it now because one day you'll miss that type of attention." my reply? yeah RIGHT. i don't enjoy being treated this way, continually being reminded that i'm just a sexual object on legs, a walking target for jackasses everywhere. you know, just another light-skinned girl with "good hair" or a vaguely asian, mysteriously exotic, racially ambiguous creature. and furthermore, i highly doubt that there will ever come a day when i long for this attention.
i can't even describe the recurring threat that this type of attention poses to my safety and well-being within my everyday life, or accurately articulate how each of these incidents builds up to an insane amount of frustration. no, i don't fear rape from every single man i meet on the street, but at the same time, i cannot feel safe when a walk last night was accompanied by several hoots and hollers and even a "hey baby" or 2 from men in a nearby car. i hate feeling that to a certain degree, as a small woman, i will always be helpless. i felt like a sitting duck, powerless to talk back to the catcalling men last night, because how could i back up my words with action if shit went down? two men in a car vs. my 5' frame on foot? i may be feisty, but i'm not stupid. last night, i briefly fantasized for the first time about getting a gun, thinking that it would be the one way i could consistently win against any number of male harassers. and i had always considered myself a pacifist! after a little more thought, i think i'll go the self-defense class route over the gun route (for now anyway).
back to this morning-
despite feeling as though the brushoff was successful, i still looked back over my shoulder periodically as i quickly made my way out of the train station and toward my workplace. my ipod is charging as i type to ensure that my headphones will give the silent brushoff if necessary tonight.
i look forward to the day when i'm strong enough to respond without having to hide behind my trusty headphones, and i know that day will come.
while reading my book on the train this morning (feminist anthology no less), i noticed a stranger approaching out of the corner of my eye. i did the polite thing and lifted my bag onto my lap so that said stranger could sit on one of the adjacent seats.
stranger sat on the seat next to me.
a few seconds later i hear (in obvious come-on voice), "hey. you look familiar."
dismayed i quietly murmur, "hi." (i am shocked at how soft and gentle my voice sounds when uttering these words.) it's one of the rare moments when i don't have my headphones to act as a barrier that shields me from unwanted discussion. i silently curse myself for forgetting to charge my ipod. i look up to see who this dude is and am startled to see that this man has a severely burned face. still, he has the balls to talk to me when i am clearly occupied with reading my book.
the husky voice comes back with "do you live in highland park?"
"no."
"got a boyfriend?"
i nod yes, not even looking up this time.
some seconds later he walks away.
for a brief moment, i feel guilty for the brush off, wondering if i was too rude, but this feeling quickly fades into relief. it was relatively quick & painless. my anxiety level drops back to normal.
it's difficult for me to explain the degree to which i sincerely hate these types of exchanges. i feel pressured by and highly resentful of this interaction. i can't help but feel as though the pursuing males in question want ownership of me and my time, both of which they have no right to claim. there's a certain privilege inherent in it, you know? the feeling that "hey, i know you're busy with something else, but i'll just interrupt you anyway so that i can hit on you."
at the same time, i've always been taught to be nice and courteous, so although i never welcome this attention, i continue to struggle with brushing it off. i can't understand this. (why should i even care if a total stranger thinks i'm a bitch?) i've chalked it up to deeply ingrained social/cultural training. i also wonder if this particular socialization (to always behave politely) explains why i've often been misunderstood by both men and women. in high school i remember classmates describing me as "quiet" and "shy" or "happy" and "always smiling"-- words that i would never choose to describe myself.
i've heard guys say that they sometimes wish for the type of unsolicited attention women receive on the regular (via catcalls, scandalous glances, come-ons, etc.) or the comment that "you should enjoy it now because one day you'll miss that type of attention." my reply? yeah RIGHT. i don't enjoy being treated this way, continually being reminded that i'm just a sexual object on legs, a walking target for jackasses everywhere. you know, just another light-skinned girl with "good hair" or a vaguely asian, mysteriously exotic, racially ambiguous creature. and furthermore, i highly doubt that there will ever come a day when i long for this attention.
i can't even describe the recurring threat that this type of attention poses to my safety and well-being within my everyday life, or accurately articulate how each of these incidents builds up to an insane amount of frustration. no, i don't fear rape from every single man i meet on the street, but at the same time, i cannot feel safe when a walk last night was accompanied by several hoots and hollers and even a "hey baby" or 2 from men in a nearby car. i hate feeling that to a certain degree, as a small woman, i will always be helpless. i felt like a sitting duck, powerless to talk back to the catcalling men last night, because how could i back up my words with action if shit went down? two men in a car vs. my 5' frame on foot? i may be feisty, but i'm not stupid. last night, i briefly fantasized for the first time about getting a gun, thinking that it would be the one way i could consistently win against any number of male harassers. and i had always considered myself a pacifist! after a little more thought, i think i'll go the self-defense class route over the gun route (for now anyway).
back to this morning-
despite feeling as though the brushoff was successful, i still looked back over my shoulder periodically as i quickly made my way out of the train station and toward my workplace. my ipod is charging as i type to ensure that my headphones will give the silent brushoff if necessary tonight.
i look forward to the day when i'm strong enough to respond without having to hide behind my trusty headphones, and i know that day will come.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Another gem (thanks again to BUST Magazine)
Ever heard of the Chubsters? They're a girl gang from the UK.
Check out the "donut hands" (gang sign) under the "chub life" section.
Check out the "donut hands" (gang sign) under the "chub life" section.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
JOIN THE FUN. you know you want to...
women, girls, ladies and broads, i know you're reading this...so why aren't you WRITING this?
this blog is only as good and as our entries. PLEASE PARTICIPATE!
if you check this blog regularly, or if your name is listed on the column to the left of this post...the time is now to start contributing. this blog wasn't created for just dolly and me to bounce ideas off each other- we do that already! our hope with wwm was to foster a new kind of community. we want to hear your experiences and opinions and know what's making the gears turn in your brains. we won't be able to do that if we're the only ones writing these posts. in the wise words of salt n pepa, "go ahead girls, express yourself!"
i know life gets crazy with work, school, and other commitments, but please just take 5 or 10 minutes from your daily myspace-browsing time and donate it to wwm. we invite you to join our motley crew of free-thinking femmes!
(hey, don't make me call you out individually, wink.)
this blog is only as good and as our entries. PLEASE PARTICIPATE!
if you check this blog regularly, or if your name is listed on the column to the left of this post...the time is now to start contributing. this blog wasn't created for just dolly and me to bounce ideas off each other- we do that already! our hope with wwm was to foster a new kind of community. we want to hear your experiences and opinions and know what's making the gears turn in your brains. we won't be able to do that if we're the only ones writing these posts. in the wise words of salt n pepa, "go ahead girls, express yourself!"
i know life gets crazy with work, school, and other commitments, but please just take 5 or 10 minutes from your daily myspace-browsing time and donate it to wwm. we invite you to join our motley crew of free-thinking femmes!
(hey, don't make me call you out individually, wink.)
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Overwhelmed. Too many things to plan. Tired.
I want to write a proper blog, but my brain hurts. I’ll list stuff instead...
a few things that excite me about getting married
night time cuddling
having someone who loves everything about you, including the good/bad/ugly
cooking plus one portions (love to cook)
being able to share annoying life tasks
being forced to work problems out and thus, enhancing my sense of self
learning more about my fiance
having a partner in crime
lazy sundays with the one you <3
ETC...Things occupying space in my head and burning a hole in my gut
$$$ issues
Moving, packing, landlords etc.
Obsessing over looks
feeling insecure
More $$$ issues
Thinking of leaving LA
Never having free time on the weekends! I used to visit my mom
Weekly…haven’t seen her in ages!
Planning wedding stuff (fun, but stressful)
Things to do before May 19
Get rings
Pick up my dress
Get Chris a tux
Pay travel agent
Pay for everything else
Buy a unity candle
Attend a ladies day out bach party
Talk w/reverend about ceremony
Talk with Madonna inn coordinator to finalize details
Get beautified
Buy a guest book
Assemble place card thingies
Meet w/hair & make-up chica
Get shoes dyed
Get a haircut
Move to my mom’s then
Move into Chris’ pad
Have rehearsal
Go to Oregon to see friends and scope it out
Things I’d like to have one day
Ability to look back @ a long/happy marriage
Kids
A degree
A new VW bug
A walk-in closet
Debt free living
General contentment
more, but...
Friday, March 30, 2007
from wikipedia
Female emancipation 
Woman with bicycle, 1890s
The diamond-frame safety bicycle gave women unprecedented mobility, contributing to their emancipation in Western nations. As bicycles became safer and cheaper, more women had access to the personal freedom they embodied, and so the bicycle came to symbolise the New Woman of the late nineteenth century, especially in Britain and the United States.
The bicycle was recognised by nineteenth-century feminists and suffragists as a "freedom machine" for women. American Susan B. Anthony said in a New York World interview on February 2, 1896: "Let me tell you what I think of bicycling. I think it has done more to emancipate women than anything else in the world. It gives women a feeling of freedom and self-reliance. I stand and rejoice every time I see a woman ride by on a wheel...the picture of free, untrammelled womanhood." In 1895 Frances Willard, the tightly-laced president of the Women's Christian Temperance Union, wrote a book called How I Learned to Ride the Bicycle, in which she praised the bicycle she learned to ride late in life, and which she named "Gladys", for its "gladdening effect" on her health and political optimism. Willard used a cycling metaphor to urge other suffragists to action, proclaiming, "I would not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum."
The male anger at the freedom symbolised by the New (bicycling) Woman was demonstrated when the male undergraduates of Cambridge University chose to show their opposition to the admission of women as full members of the university by hanging a woman in effigy in the main town square -- tellingly, a woman on a bicycle. This was as late as 1897.[11]
In the 1890s the bicycle craze led to a movement for so-called rational dress, which helped liberate women from corsets and ankle-length skirts and other restrictive garments, substituting the then-shocking bloomers.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
W.W.K.M.D.?
I hate that at the semi-young age of 27, I can look around at society today and ask, “Where did the good ole days go?” It seems that in the short span of 10+ years (the time I’ve spent working for the man)
I have a decent job with okay wages, but it only ever amounts to enough…paycheck to paycheck. When I receive a raise, all of my other expenses are “coincidentally” raised as well; over a few years, my rent has went up $125 and my health care usually soaks up the 50 cent raise I get every other year. These rising costs level my fiscal playing field so that at the end of the day, my money meter points to zero or negative sums.
I should be content in the fact that I have healthcare when so many others don’t, and when I pull up past images of the Katrina relief debacle I should sleep easier, right? I do have it good, right? Why don’t I feel right?
I’m not a coin-operated machine, nor am I one who gets high off sniffing dollar bills. Money making/greed isn’t the essence of my rant. What I strive for is a comfortable quality of life. I’m happy for what God has blessed me with, but at the end of the day when I come home to endless bills, despite my thriftiness & budgeting, I have to reach for my old pal Visa to keep me moving.
Anyway, I’m getting married soon, and my fiancé proposed the idea of moving out of
Why such a divide between those who live with ease, and those who live with debt? What would bell hooks say...What would Karl Marx do? We'll see what happens I guess...
Thursday, March 22, 2007
$%#*!
I JUST DON'T GET IT!
despite (or maybe because of?) my ambivalence towards marriage in my own life, the engagement of my boyfriend's good friend (to his girlfriend of a year) is bringing up some odd and unexpected mixed feelings.
i am all for the presence of marriage in the lives of my friends who want to get married; however, in the last few years i've experienced an inner backlash against it in my own.
a few ideas that i've been pondering:
-in this country, marriage is clearly an institution of privilege reserved only for heterosexuals. i don't want to support that.
-sometimes the idea of being so completely committed to one person, ready to "stand by your man" no matter what, sounds like a terrifying trap.
-with divorce so frequent, what does marriage really mean? why choose marriage over long-term cohabitation? in the worst case scenario, isn't it better to live together and break up than get married and divorced? (i was born "out of wedlock." what impacted me 100x more than my parents being unmarried was the idea that they weren't together and the absence of my dad.)
my general attitude is, if it happens, it happens. i'm not going to live my life in mad pursuit of a husband. i'd like to live a happy and well-rounded life with love and family as integral components, but i don't want marriage and children to be my ultimate goals. (where do you go from there?)
so back to the matter at hand...why all the weirdness? whenever i receive news of an engagement (e.g. good friends or family members), my usual response is extreme happiness and sincere excitement for the couple's bright future together. maybe it's messed up, but this time, i didn't feel that way. i saw it coming, so i wasn't surprised. i think they will be happy together, and i'm happy for them (despite the past minor conflicts i've had with the bride-to-be), but i guess somehow the announcement raised some buried feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. i began having thoughts like, "how did he know in only a year when ----- and i have been dating for a few...what does that say about me?" or "will ----- ever propose?" etc. you know what i mean, right? WEIRD! especially for someone so decidedly not interested in marriage right now.
is it time to confront the jealous 15 year-old girl within? (why won't she leave me alone already?) or do i unconsciously aspire to an age-old tradition without even realizing it? despite my clear objections to certain aspects of the institution, am i still secretly "wedded" to the idea of marriage or what? sigh.
despite (or maybe because of?) my ambivalence towards marriage in my own life, the engagement of my boyfriend's good friend (to his girlfriend of a year) is bringing up some odd and unexpected mixed feelings.
i am all for the presence of marriage in the lives of my friends who want to get married; however, in the last few years i've experienced an inner backlash against it in my own.
a few ideas that i've been pondering:
-in this country, marriage is clearly an institution of privilege reserved only for heterosexuals. i don't want to support that.
-sometimes the idea of being so completely committed to one person, ready to "stand by your man" no matter what, sounds like a terrifying trap.
-with divorce so frequent, what does marriage really mean? why choose marriage over long-term cohabitation? in the worst case scenario, isn't it better to live together and break up than get married and divorced? (i was born "out of wedlock." what impacted me 100x more than my parents being unmarried was the idea that they weren't together and the absence of my dad.)
my general attitude is, if it happens, it happens. i'm not going to live my life in mad pursuit of a husband. i'd like to live a happy and well-rounded life with love and family as integral components, but i don't want marriage and children to be my ultimate goals. (where do you go from there?)
so back to the matter at hand...why all the weirdness? whenever i receive news of an engagement (e.g. good friends or family members), my usual response is extreme happiness and sincere excitement for the couple's bright future together. maybe it's messed up, but this time, i didn't feel that way. i saw it coming, so i wasn't surprised. i think they will be happy together, and i'm happy for them (despite the past minor conflicts i've had with the bride-to-be), but i guess somehow the announcement raised some buried feelings of inadequacy or insecurity. i began having thoughts like, "how did he know in only a year when ----- and i have been dating for a few...what does that say about me?" or "will ----- ever propose?" etc. you know what i mean, right? WEIRD! especially for someone so decidedly not interested in marriage right now.
is it time to confront the jealous 15 year-old girl within? (why won't she leave me alone already?) or do i unconsciously aspire to an age-old tradition without even realizing it? despite my clear objections to certain aspects of the institution, am i still secretly "wedded" to the idea of marriage or what? sigh.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Getting women's voices out there
In this NY Times article, a discussion of the effort to put more women's voices in op-ed pages. It reminded me of the great forum we have here.
Warm-fuzzies!
Warm-fuzzies!
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Straight Outta East Los
So, I was in the break-room during lunch, pouring over the endless array of gag-worthy mag choices like town and country/ Talbot's, when I chanced upon the March issue of Tu Ciudad L.A.
They featured an article on the comedic and satirical sagacity of a fictional chola, so of course, I immediately hauled a** to my desk to check out her sites http://www.myspace.com/askachola
and http://www.askachola.com/
Dang! I wasn't sorry. FUNNY SH*T! I thoroughly enjoy this project askachola has going on, and I hope you will too. ** hint, hint **
So anyhoo, what I'm trying to say is that you should put a jet pack on your buns & visit her page, or I'm pretty sure that she'll cut you.
They featured an article on the comedic and satirical sagacity of a fictional chola, so of course, I immediately hauled a** to my desk to check out her sites http://www.myspace.com/askachola
and http://www.askachola.com/
Dang! I wasn't sorry. FUNNY SH*T! I thoroughly enjoy this project askachola has going on, and I hope you will too. ** hint, hint **
So anyhoo, what I'm trying to say is that you should put a jet pack on your buns & visit her page, or I'm pretty sure that she'll cut you.
Good Friends
Have you ever had a good friend in your life? No. Scratch that. Have you ever had a great friend in your life? She influenced you, listened to you, made you laugh, but most of all, loved you? Real unconditional love? Some of us are lucky to have a friend like that.
I've been thinking a lot about my friend. I've known her for many, many years. We've gone through a lot together. She is my sister. Well, not biologically, anyway. She's my friend-sister. Yeah!
I wanted to be just like my friend B. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to be my friend--I've always liked me--I just wanted to be a better version of me and she had some of the characteristics that I wanted.
This girl could talk to anyone. She'd make friends in a gas station. I loved that. I wanted to be that outgoing and trusting of people. She's no pushover, though. I saw the way people reacted to her humor and friendliness. I wanted that reaction, too. People were (and still are) so drawn to her. I used to think "What is it she does that makes people react the way they do?" So, I decided to "steal" that characteristic from her. :)
You would not believe how people react when you are nice to them. If I meet someone in a bad mood, I always try to be nice to them. If you're friendly to people you'll always get a smile from them. Try it! I learned this from my friend. She could make the grouchiest old man smile. I've seen it!
Once, we were both auditioning for the same part (a voice over) on a TV show a long time ago. The producer brought all of us into an office. B saw the furniture and said ,"Look! It's a casting couch!" I busted up laughing. The producer didn't know quite how to react to that. The look on his face was priceless! I don't remember what he said, but he was quite shocked. This is the kind of thing she'd do; she wasn't afraid of saying anything to anyone.
Oh, can this girl keep a secret!!! She's got other people's secrets locked up inside, I've been trying to get out of her for 20 years! From her, I've learned how to keep a promise. Now, when people tell me things, it stays with me.
What I'm trying to say is you can learn so much from your friends. I took what I thought was the best part of her personality and made it my own. The thing I wanted most to be was kind, funny, outgoing, and not afraid to talk to people. I learned how to do that from my friend. I thank B and love her a lot.
Hug your friend. She's precious.
Oh, and my friend got the part.
I've been thinking a lot about my friend. I've known her for many, many years. We've gone through a lot together. She is my sister. Well, not biologically, anyway. She's my friend-sister. Yeah!
I wanted to be just like my friend B. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to be my friend--I've always liked me--I just wanted to be a better version of me and she had some of the characteristics that I wanted.
This girl could talk to anyone. She'd make friends in a gas station. I loved that. I wanted to be that outgoing and trusting of people. She's no pushover, though. I saw the way people reacted to her humor and friendliness. I wanted that reaction, too. People were (and still are) so drawn to her. I used to think "What is it she does that makes people react the way they do?" So, I decided to "steal" that characteristic from her. :)
You would not believe how people react when you are nice to them. If I meet someone in a bad mood, I always try to be nice to them. If you're friendly to people you'll always get a smile from them. Try it! I learned this from my friend. She could make the grouchiest old man smile. I've seen it!
Once, we were both auditioning for the same part (a voice over) on a TV show a long time ago. The producer brought all of us into an office. B saw the furniture and said ,"Look! It's a casting couch!" I busted up laughing. The producer didn't know quite how to react to that. The look on his face was priceless! I don't remember what he said, but he was quite shocked. This is the kind of thing she'd do; she wasn't afraid of saying anything to anyone.
Oh, can this girl keep a secret!!! She's got other people's secrets locked up inside, I've been trying to get out of her for 20 years! From her, I've learned how to keep a promise. Now, when people tell me things, it stays with me.
What I'm trying to say is you can learn so much from your friends. I took what I thought was the best part of her personality and made it my own. The thing I wanted most to be was kind, funny, outgoing, and not afraid to talk to people. I learned how to do that from my friend. I thank B and love her a lot.
Hug your friend. She's precious.
Oh, and my friend got the part.
Friday, March 02, 2007
WACK! art & the feminist revolution
for all the LA-area ladiez:
moca has this amazing new exhibit about art + feminism, and it's opening this weekend! (right about now i really wish i was a moca member so that i could attend the members' opening event tomorrow...aw.)
http://www.moca.org/wack/
i can't wait to see it. i'm gonna plan to attend the walkthroughs on sunday.
(i'm so exciiiiiiiited!)
moca has this amazing new exhibit about art + feminism, and it's opening this weekend! (right about now i really wish i was a moca member so that i could attend the members' opening event tomorrow...aw.)
http://www.moca.org/wack/
i can't wait to see it. i'm gonna plan to attend the walkthroughs on sunday.
(i'm so exciiiiiiiited!)
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Year 27 & 28
I went to a 30th birthday party tonight and asked the birthday girl if she felt any wiser. I personally think that as Aaliyah once sang, "age ain't nothin but a number." But I was curious to see what the birthday girl thought. She said it was no biggie and that she didn't feel any older or wiser. She said 27 and 28 are the years that are the toughest where you grow a stomach pouch and your bootie grows. After that you get comfortable with your body and learn to exercise to stay in shape. I said, "Great! This is my year! for growth" So, as I anticipate my butt and my bellie to grow this year, I will continue eating as much as I want. Might as well enjoy while I can! So, I celebrated the rest of the evening by eating 2 cupcakes. Damn they were good.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
the origins of "feminazi"
it appears that the source of this word's popularity is RUSH LIMBAUGH!!! (yuck!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminazi
lately he's also been going around calling mixed folks of african descent, like me, halle berry, and barack obama HALFRICANS. what an ass! he certainly seems to enjoy trying to define other people's identities. he uses stupid labels in a lame attempt to dismiss and discredit important ideas and experiences. gee, he sure must feel threatened! how sad. ;)
but seriously, words like "feminazi" continue to perpetuate harmful stereotypes about feminists and assertive women in general. that's why i felt it was important to find out more about its origins and usage and am posting this info here!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminazi
lately he's also been going around calling mixed folks of african descent, like me, halle berry, and barack obama HALFRICANS. what an ass! he certainly seems to enjoy trying to define other people's identities. he uses stupid labels in a lame attempt to dismiss and discredit important ideas and experiences. gee, he sure must feel threatened! how sad. ;)
but seriously, words like "feminazi" continue to perpetuate harmful stereotypes about feminists and assertive women in general. that's why i felt it was important to find out more about its origins and usage and am posting this info here!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
on ownership of the term
i'm often disappointed by the hesitancy of many women to embrace the term "feminist." sometimes it's almost as if the term is as powerful as a scarlet letter, in effect labeling an individual undesirable in our society.
why is this the case?
why do so many strong and intelligent women shy away from this term?
having been born and bred in the US, i feel that feminism is still very misunderstood among the (north) american public-at-large. i myself will admit to only relatively recently growing into the term, due mostly to my reluctance to prematurely identify with a movement i knew so little about. (i'm still in the learning process and most of my current knowledge comes from books and friends.) i always knew that i was curious about it and wanted to learn more, and the more bell hooks i read, the more i see how clearly my personal values are naturally aligned with feminist thought.
i love that feminism is still a controversial topic today because this forces people to adopt a "come strong or not at all" attitude. i've never seen/known a half-assed feminist. the term conjures up images of radicalism, non-conformity, activism, pride, fierce independence, and of course women's historic struggles for equality, all of which i embrace whole-heartedly. what i don't embrace is the pervasive misconception that feminism is all about man-hating. (what a sexist and completely male-centered notion!) as one of the wwm contributors (da) mentioned in her intro, there are many flavors of feminism. the one constant thread is that it's a movement centered around opposing sexism in all its forms. this means recognizing and challenging the gendered conceptions and systems we've been conditioned to buy into, as well as understanding and opposing the sexism perpetuated by both males and females that we encounter on a daily basis.
i think we should compile a list of the biggest misconceptions about feminists/feminism...anyone have suggestions for this?
one of the top misconceptions has got to be that feminist women in heterosexual relationships cannot/should not enjoy being treated by men on dates. my response: as two equals, i feel that my date and myself should both demonstrate a certain level of respect and enjoy mutual admiration, which sometimes results in being treated on dates. what, are feminists supposed to avoid fun at all costs? c'mon! gimme a damn break.
why is this the case?
why do so many strong and intelligent women shy away from this term?
having been born and bred in the US, i feel that feminism is still very misunderstood among the (north) american public-at-large. i myself will admit to only relatively recently growing into the term, due mostly to my reluctance to prematurely identify with a movement i knew so little about. (i'm still in the learning process and most of my current knowledge comes from books and friends.) i always knew that i was curious about it and wanted to learn more, and the more bell hooks i read, the more i see how clearly my personal values are naturally aligned with feminist thought.
i love that feminism is still a controversial topic today because this forces people to adopt a "come strong or not at all" attitude. i've never seen/known a half-assed feminist. the term conjures up images of radicalism, non-conformity, activism, pride, fierce independence, and of course women's historic struggles for equality, all of which i embrace whole-heartedly. what i don't embrace is the pervasive misconception that feminism is all about man-hating. (what a sexist and completely male-centered notion!) as one of the wwm contributors (da) mentioned in her intro, there are many flavors of feminism. the one constant thread is that it's a movement centered around opposing sexism in all its forms. this means recognizing and challenging the gendered conceptions and systems we've been conditioned to buy into, as well as understanding and opposing the sexism perpetuated by both males and females that we encounter on a daily basis.
i think we should compile a list of the biggest misconceptions about feminists/feminism...anyone have suggestions for this?
one of the top misconceptions has got to be that feminist women in heterosexual relationships cannot/should not enjoy being treated by men on dates. my response: as two equals, i feel that my date and myself should both demonstrate a certain level of respect and enjoy mutual admiration, which sometimes results in being treated on dates. what, are feminists supposed to avoid fun at all costs? c'mon! gimme a damn break.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
ode to denim
O! fave jeans, you have passed
gone to that place where denim goes to die
leaving me aghast
for I killed you with my humungo thigh
I tried to hold on; I sewed you, I stitched
you couldn't contain me, you ripped and I bitched
but not to worry, for my very concerned mom
saved my day, with zafu.com !!!
seriouly though, good jeans are sooooooooo hard to come by! i'm short/chubby, so i can never find my right size! sorry to make the following statement, but oprah was right...she suggested that when you find a good pair of jeans, buy @ least 2 pair! o oprah, that Stedman is one lucky mofo to have the infinitely wise you...
gone to that place where denim goes to die
leaving me aghast
for I killed you with my humungo thigh
I tried to hold on; I sewed you, I stitched
you couldn't contain me, you ripped and I bitched
but not to worry, for my very concerned mom
saved my day, with zafu.com !!!
seriouly though, good jeans are sooooooooo hard to come by! i'm short/chubby, so i can never find my right size! sorry to make the following statement, but oprah was right...she suggested that when you find a good pair of jeans, buy @ least 2 pair! o oprah, that Stedman is one lucky mofo to have the infinitely wise you...
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
2 Things I Hate
There are 2 things I really hate 1) SUV's 2) Men that drive SUV's. I was on the 10 driving to Alhambra when I merged into a lane just at the same time as another guy. Now, most people would probably recognize that it was bad timing on behalf of both people but this asshole thought it was my fault and decided he would ride my ass in his brand new truck. When he got the opportunity he cut over two lanes and then cut back to get in front of me and of course he slammed on his breaks. How predictable! So after getting very close to rear ending him I decided to not play that game and stayed way back just to further piss him off. Ahhh it put me in such a crappy mood that yet another SUV with some dude in his big truck and his masculinity (or lack of) went out of his way to be an ass. Why is this shit necessary? And at the end of the day do assholes like him feel better about themselves?
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Friday, February 09, 2007
hey, CONTRIBUTORS!
hey ladies, we've switched over to the new version of blogger which unfortunately means that in order to post, you will have to switch over to the new blogger too. (if you look to your left, you'll see that some contributor names have disappeared for this reason.)
it's quick and easy to switch, but just kind of annoying.
1) log into your "old blogger" account at blogger.com/start
2) under the heading "Your new version of Blogger is ready!" click on "Switch to the new version" and follow the instructions.
3) once you switch, you'll start signing in using the "new blogger" link (at blogger.com/start)
we apologize for these technical difficulties...please email us at womenswrites@gmail.com if you have any questions or problems relating to this whole stinky process!
(this is an enhanced re-post for anyone who missed it the first time)
it's quick and easy to switch, but just kind of annoying.
1) log into your "old blogger" account at blogger.com/start
2) under the heading "Your new version of Blogger is ready!" click on "Switch to the new version" and follow the instructions.
3) once you switch, you'll start signing in using the "new blogger" link (at blogger.com/start)
we apologize for these technical difficulties...please email us at womenswrites@gmail.com if you have any questions or problems relating to this whole stinky process!
(this is an enhanced re-post for anyone who missed it the first time)
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
frustration
the only thing worse than having some big truck block the crosswalk (and obstruct your view of the pedestrian signal!) when you're hungrily trying to make your way to the restaurants across the street is having the mofo who's driving the truck loudly catcalling and waving at you NON-STOP while you're madly attempting to see if it's ok to cross.
i so badly wanted to egg that jackass right in the face.
i so badly wanted to egg that jackass right in the face.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
food for thought
I was sitting in the lunchroom today and noticed that for every 1 guy happily enjoying his huge hungryman-esque entrée, there were at least 2 women (including me) nuking their minuscule-portioned lean cuisine/weight watcher rations. And I say rations because when you’re a woman, who is constantly reminded by society to watch her figure, every calorie counts. I hate that women aren’t supposed to enjoy food, and I hate that although I occasionally indulge in rich fares, I’m a calorie counter too.
I’ve never, ever, ever, ever seen a guy who refused a food item because it was “too fattening,” or because he was “watching his weight.” It’s not right.
Maybe I’m just being biased and limiting my thoughts to personal experience, but this is what I see and, this is what I feel needs to change.
Monday, February 05, 2007
chones
sorry to be all things wedding all of the time, but I just have to say that before you go shopping for a wedding dress, remember to wear nice chones! The shop attendant is going to see you in your underwear more than anyone else you've ever known...alls I'm sayin'!
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
there's no E in the word "t-a-s-t-y"
ok, i want to like Fergie. really, i do. i even have the Black Eyed Peas "my humps" on my ipod. embarrassing, yes, but i'm admitting it.
i keep seeing that Fergalicious video and it really bothers me. not because i'm jealous and wish i had a body like that. every time i see it i can't help but think "are her parents watching this?"
i guess i'm just tired of seeing barely dressed women in music videos. i know if i don't like it i can just turn it off, but what kind of message is this sending to young girls? that this is what you should aspire to be? someday you too can jump out of a cake and rub yourself with frosting on television?!
good grief.
The right of way (not really a feminist topic)
Why is it that I find myself nearly run over, up to four times a day, as I walk from the parking lot to my workplace? Mind you, I'm using designated sidewalks, crosswalks with bright day-glow yellow pedestrian crossing signs, painted signs on the roads, and painted crosswalk markings on the road. I just do not understand why cars insist they must go, NOW. What - letting a pedestrian cross the street would slow you down that significantly? Are you going to lose your life over it? Because they're definitely risking mine.
A few weeks ago, I was crossing a drive-way on the sidewalk, in front of a car that was stopped there, waiting for traffic to clear. When I was right in front of the car, the driver, who was on her cell phone, released her brake, almost hit me and scared the living daylights out of me. Did she apologize for or even acknowledge scaring the shit out of me? No, she went right on gabbing on her phone.
This week, I was in the middle of a cross-walk, and the car refused to slow down or stop. As I finished crossing the lane, and the car was inches from my feet, I shot the driver a condescending look, and then got honked at. WTF? Did I not get out of YOUR way fast enough?
Am I the only person out there that thinks pedestrians should be allowed to cross at crosswalks? When I'm in my car, I usually let pedestrians go ahead of me. That way, I won't run them over if they decide to run across the street, and besides, they're usually colder/wetter/tireder than I am in my sheltering vehicle.
Seriously, when did drivers get to be so atrocious and disrespectful regarding pedestrians?
A few weeks ago, I was crossing a drive-way on the sidewalk, in front of a car that was stopped there, waiting for traffic to clear. When I was right in front of the car, the driver, who was on her cell phone, released her brake, almost hit me and scared the living daylights out of me. Did she apologize for or even acknowledge scaring the shit out of me? No, she went right on gabbing on her phone.
This week, I was in the middle of a cross-walk, and the car refused to slow down or stop. As I finished crossing the lane, and the car was inches from my feet, I shot the driver a condescending look, and then got honked at. WTF? Did I not get out of YOUR way fast enough?
Am I the only person out there that thinks pedestrians should be allowed to cross at crosswalks? When I'm in my car, I usually let pedestrians go ahead of me. That way, I won't run them over if they decide to run across the street, and besides, they're usually colder/wetter/tireder than I am in my sheltering vehicle.
Seriously, when did drivers get to be so atrocious and disrespectful regarding pedestrians?
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Driving myself crazy
Okay, I'm having a feminist crisis. My boyfriend's vehicle is being fixed this week, so I have been doing the driving to and from work (we carpool) and found that I get really nervous with him in the car. I don't know why. I also find myself defending what I am doing and why. For example: "I'm going to get over in the other lane after this car," "I'm only going 70 because my car doesn't like to go fast," etc. Suddenly I can't change lanes without his help "can I get over?"
Now, I don't usually question my driving skills and have never been in an accident (unlike the boyfriend, whose name is David, by the way) so why am I nervous and questioning everything I am doing?
And let me add that he isn't a backseat driver - he doesn't say things - I say things before he has the chance, or so I think.
I also ramble on and on like me talking is somehow going to distract him from paying attention to my driving.
Although, we've been together more than a year (and have lived together for several months), he's only driven with me in my car a few times. His car is way nicer (has air conditioning) so he usually drives us to work everyday and anywhere else we go together.
And one last thing, I know he trusts me and my driving skills. I have started driving his vehicle even without him as a passenger - obviously he trusts me. He has never once said anything to make me think that he doesn't like my driving...so why am I freaking out about this?
In my defense, I am not used to driving with passengers in the car. I used to drive to work all alone everyday as I used to live 5 minutes from my job. And anytime I went anywhere with people they usually drove because they have nicer cars. And this doesn't happen in any other situation with David. That said...
As a feminist, I am very dissapointed in myself about this whole situation. So I am asking my fellow feminists/strong women - any ideas/suggestions for me? Anybody else have this problem? Does it go away?
Now, I don't usually question my driving skills and have never been in an accident (unlike the boyfriend, whose name is David, by the way) so why am I nervous and questioning everything I am doing?
And let me add that he isn't a backseat driver - he doesn't say things - I say things before he has the chance, or so I think.
I also ramble on and on like me talking is somehow going to distract him from paying attention to my driving.
Although, we've been together more than a year (and have lived together for several months), he's only driven with me in my car a few times. His car is way nicer (has air conditioning) so he usually drives us to work everyday and anywhere else we go together.
And one last thing, I know he trusts me and my driving skills. I have started driving his vehicle even without him as a passenger - obviously he trusts me. He has never once said anything to make me think that he doesn't like my driving...so why am I freaking out about this?
In my defense, I am not used to driving with passengers in the car. I used to drive to work all alone everyday as I used to live 5 minutes from my job. And anytime I went anywhere with people they usually drove because they have nicer cars. And this doesn't happen in any other situation with David. That said...
As a feminist, I am very dissapointed in myself about this whole situation. So I am asking my fellow feminists/strong women - any ideas/suggestions for me? Anybody else have this problem? Does it go away?
Friday, January 26, 2007
ATTN: CONTRIBUTORS!
hey ladies, we've switched over to the new version of blogger which unfortunately means that in order to post, you will have to switch over too. (if you look to your left, you'll see that most contributor names have disappeared for this reason. boo!)
it's quick and easy to switch, but just a minor hassle. we apologize for these technical difficulties...please email us at womenswrites@gmail.com if you have any questions or problems relating to this whole stinky process!
it's quick and easy to switch, but just a minor hassle. we apologize for these technical difficulties...please email us at womenswrites@gmail.com if you have any questions or problems relating to this whole stinky process!
a rose by any other name...
...would it still smell the same? I am in the midst of a rather common (and unavoidable) wedding quandary: should I assume his surname? Even though my guy assures me that MY answer hinges upon MY happiness, there are those intangible sentiments, which he emits, that escort me to the idea that taking his name would color his world three shades of happy.
What to do? I know it’s a tradition; and traditionally speaking, his desire for me to take his name is probably valid. But, I think that people get so attached to social mores that they don’t always understand what they’re attaching themselves to. I would not only be changing my name, but the air of my independence as well.
Yes, it could be argued that while I'd like to maintain autonomy, my current last name is in fact my father's and thus, symbolizes the patriarchal bloodline of my family. But, despite that objection, Resendez carries my ethnicity, the financial history I created for myself, and my identity for the past 27 yrs. I still don’t know what I’m going to do…any suggestions? Please, feel free to comment!
**And, don’t even get me started on the whole walking down the aisle business. Coverture is over-ture, baby! Last time I checked, no one (except maybe the U.S. Gov., guffaw-guffaw!) owns me! So, if I do decide to saunter down the aisle, mom will most certainly be there too! :)
What to do? I know it’s a tradition; and traditionally speaking, his desire for me to take his name is probably valid. But, I think that people get so attached to social mores that they don’t always understand what they’re attaching themselves to. I would not only be changing my name, but the air of my independence as well.
Yes, it could be argued that while I'd like to maintain autonomy, my current last name is in fact my father's and thus, symbolizes the patriarchal bloodline of my family. But, despite that objection, Resendez carries my ethnicity, the financial history I created for myself, and my identity for the past 27 yrs. I still don’t know what I’m going to do…any suggestions? Please, feel free to comment!
**And, don’t even get me started on the whole walking down the aisle business. Coverture is over-ture, baby! Last time I checked, no one (except maybe the U.S. Gov., guffaw-guffaw!) owns me! So, if I do decide to saunter down the aisle, mom will most certainly be there too! :)
HEY!
I do not approve of the disapproving glances at my VPL (visible panty line) that I just received from a fellow femme, my boss! Actually, I guess she looked more concerned than anything else.
In the wise words of Monica, "It's just one of dem days." Don't take it personal.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
The first of a myriad of thoughts
Hello to all the women on this blog project! I'm happy to contribute my first musing of many.
I've been thinking a lot about the bigger picture... when I used to work in retail and two of my co-workers were bitching at each other about something, I just kept thinking how there are bigger problems in the world... and when my former manager kept hammering into me how important it was to finish everything on time, no matter what (steaming clothes, pricing things, etc.)... I just thought: "there's more than this."
I'm suddenly very disappointed in the world around me. I used to not really care because it didn't affect me and it was all far away from me. But the more I know, the more I'm horrified. And the more I want to do my part to make everything better... even if I can only do a tiny bit.
It finally occurred to me how much I have. Maybe this was brought on by everything I've been through during my life and I realized how precious the little things were that I used to take for granted... like making your own choices and having the ability to do whatever you please with the time that you have.
I was looking at websites the other night... volunteer organizations abroad, mostly. There's one called global volunteers where you can volunteer a few weeks of your time to go abroad and teach English, build homes, and help those who don't have a voice in this world. There was one where you could go to Afghanistan and join the fight to educate women who have been denied the right to read and write because of the laws. Maybe this is something I could do one day... since I know that every little drama in my life was not nearly as bad as what others are experiencing now. Soldiers fighting in Iraq have lost their lives or are missing limbs. Some people don't know where their next meal will come from. Some live in fear of death every day...
Could I make a difference? Going elsewhere someday would let me see parts of the world I never dreamed existed... meet people I would never have met otherwise... and experience things that will hopefully make me a better person.
Time to save up vacation hours.
-- Cat
Monday, January 22, 2007
Movie posters, obesity, monsters...
Just one of many blogs on weight that I will write. Has anybody else seen the billboard (bus) ads or movie previews for Eddie Murphy’s new movie Norbit? Is anyone else tired of seeing movies make fun of obese women and people in general? First of all the poster itself is offensive. Let me first say that I am overweight, not obese but overweight. Although there are probably people walking this Earth that would call me obese, but I don’t consider myself obese. Anyway, I was standing on the corner of a street and this giant bus pulls up and stops in front of me and on the side of the bus is a giant Norbit poster. In this poster all you see is this giant woman in lingerie with bulging fat thighs, arms, etc., practically suffocating this poor, tiny, skinny man. (And why is she in lingerie while he is completely dressed?) Above them is the line “Have you ever made a really big mistake?” So first we are dealing with the stereotype that fat women are unattractive and no man would be caught dead under an obese woman, so apparently his “big mistake” was having sex with a fat woman. God forbid!
But once you see the previews you see that not only does Eddie (who portrays both characters) make the woman obese but he also makes her a horrible beast of a woman; so now we are dealing with the stereotype that fat women are mean, pushy, domineering and bitchy, oh and for good measure he named her Rasputia. In the summary of the movie on the Internet Movie Database they call her “monstrous.” So somehow, this giant monster bullies this poor little skinny man and forces him to promise to marry her. His savior comes in the form of you guessed it, a skinny, beautiful, kind woman (played by Thandie Newton). This story is old and I find it offensive to both women and men and both skinny and fat.
And, don’t even get me started the fact that these obese women characters are being written and played by men – who have no idea what it’s like to be a woman, skinny or not.
I am a huge fan of movies and believe that people can make whatever movies they want and we have the freedom to go see those movies but I just want to know how long it’s going to take till making fun of fat people is no longer funny or acceptable. I just ask for one movie with an obese woman who is normal, nice, kind and who finds a nice, kind man and lives somewhat happily ever after.
But once you see the previews you see that not only does Eddie (who portrays both characters) make the woman obese but he also makes her a horrible beast of a woman; so now we are dealing with the stereotype that fat women are mean, pushy, domineering and bitchy, oh and for good measure he named her Rasputia. In the summary of the movie on the Internet Movie Database they call her “monstrous.” So somehow, this giant monster bullies this poor little skinny man and forces him to promise to marry her. His savior comes in the form of you guessed it, a skinny, beautiful, kind woman (played by Thandie Newton). This story is old and I find it offensive to both women and men and both skinny and fat.
And, don’t even get me started the fact that these obese women characters are being written and played by men – who have no idea what it’s like to be a woman, skinny or not.
I am a huge fan of movies and believe that people can make whatever movies they want and we have the freedom to go see those movies but I just want to know how long it’s going to take till making fun of fat people is no longer funny or acceptable. I just ask for one movie with an obese woman who is normal, nice, kind and who finds a nice, kind man and lives somewhat happily ever after.
The first of many about food, I do believe
In a fabulous merger of childhood desire and adult responsibility, Vons, as part of their organic line, now carries 100% juice, no sugar added, organic silver pouches that are impossible to poke through with a straw. That’s right,
I love food. I have no idea where I got that, as I have two of the pickiest parents in the world. I recall a lot of those Birdseye frozen vegetable squares from childhood (carrots, green beans and corn, oh my), along with Shake-n-bake, Campbell’s soup, and cucumbers covered in that gelatinous Wishbone Italian dressing (do you think Italy is aware we’ve sullied its good culinary name with this crap?). Usually my mom packed our lunches, including a Hi-C juice box that was never thawed by lunch, soup or sandwich, a fruit roll-up or a baggie of chocolate chips and raisins, and a quarter taped to the inside lid of my lunch box for an ice cream (the pink and white kitty litter-looking one). We were allowed to buy lunch on days it was something we liked, which was maybe twice a month. The divorce years, starting at age 9ish, through a combination of parental guilt and neglect, involved a whole lot more junk food. In other words, I had an unremarkable childhood, food-wise.
Just after my 14th birthday I became a vegetarian. As of my past birthday I’ve been a vegetarian for more years than I haven’t (ok, well, I guess as of my 28 ½ birthday, but since I’m not 7, I don’t hold up halves of fingers when asked how many I am). Why? For the same reason you do anything else at 14; because all your friends are doing it. I went to an alternative school; all my friends, elders and teachers were hippies. It started as an animal rights/peer pressure thing, and has evolved from there. I kind of hate it when people ask me why I’m a vegetarian. Usually I say “’cause all my friends were doing it”, we laugh, and I change the subject. There are those who ask because they’re genuinely curious, and there are those who ask because they want to pick a fight. I don’t know what that’s about. I don’t preach or guilt trip, I don’t insist we eat at vegetarian restaurants, I don’t moo when you take a bite of your burger, I’ll buy meat at a store if you ask me to, I’ll flip burgers while tending the grill, just not with the same spatula. So why you gotta hate?
Woo, this blog took a different route than I expected. I think I touched on exactly one of the maybe 5 bullet points I had emailed myself as a reminder (which was
Wow, finishing a blog is nice. I wish I smoked so I could have a post-blog cigarette.
-
Saturday, January 20, 2007
hey, does anybody remember...
carol moseley braun?
that candidate from the 2004 presidential race?
i guess she doesn't get much mention now because she didn't take it all the way, although i did watch her in preliminary debates at least once. if she had been elected, she would have been the first african american + woman president. according to wikipedia, she was the first and only black woman elected to the senate. she was also the first african american senator to be elected as a democrat.
i didn't vote for kerry in the primaries. i had been rooting for dean + kucinich.
excited about 2008 though--a lot of potential there!
you are all invited to my place to eat sausage soup + watch the presidential debate when it's time. (it's a tradition i started in 2004.) hmm, on second thought, this time maybe i'll ditch the sausage. ;)
that candidate from the 2004 presidential race?
i guess she doesn't get much mention now because she didn't take it all the way, although i did watch her in preliminary debates at least once. if she had been elected, she would have been the first african american + woman president. according to wikipedia, she was the first and only black woman elected to the senate. she was also the first african american senator to be elected as a democrat.
i didn't vote for kerry in the primaries. i had been rooting for dean + kucinich.
excited about 2008 though--a lot of potential there!
you are all invited to my place to eat sausage soup + watch the presidential debate when it's time. (it's a tradition i started in 2004.) hmm, on second thought, this time maybe i'll ditch the sausage. ;)
Friday, January 19, 2007
tangent to björk, bathrooms, babies, and ambition
I thought I would leave an entry as opposed to a comment in response to Simone's blog.
Upon speaking to a pregnant co-worker and team member, we discussed the difficulties involved in balancing career with family-and how there is an inherent inequality between the position of men and women within the work force.
With Architecture, as am sure exists with all professions, timing is very important. One has to invest in 5 years of school, and another few years to prepare for the Architectural Registration Exams ( a grueling series of 10 tests culminating to an oral exam administered in front of a panel of architects in a hotel room) before becoming licensed in the state. This barely covers you to practice in your field legally-not to mention the extra time needed to coordinate your own projects and have them built.
Typically, architects become licensed around the age of 30-leaving hardly enough time to balance child bearing and rearing for females. In my environment at work, my pregnant co-worker struggles to achieve her title and worries about the time she will need to take off work to care for her new born. Meanwhile, our studio director (a tenaciously aggressive man) just had a baby, (meaning his wife had the baby) and has only taken one day off of work to spend time with his daughter.
I am not sure what the answer to this predicament is-I suppose only a precise balance can help women support the family they desire and the career they love. It is simply unfair for this biological burden to be placed on us. In these times, thinking of how my mother raised me and my two siblings and of all my other friend's moms who raised them on their own, keeps me optimistic...
--
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there should be several lights that never go out...
Music News- Mamas and Papas Singer Denny Doherty Dies - AOL News
I love the Mamas and the papas, and their embodiment of free self-expression.
Mama Cass was a legend! Denny Doherty was a golden-throated wonder! Give them props y’all!
keep your Y's and I's
Before I get started ranting and raving... It should be know that I don't like womYn spelled with a Y or boI with an I. I do like women, more then the right wing coalition would perhaps like me to. Boys are ok. I'll get down to the nitty-gritty tomorrow.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
BUTCHLALIS - submitted by raquefella
Dear Friends, Acquaintances, Awkward Moments, Strange Bedfellows, Bitter Rivals, Identity Politicians, Journalists, Nature Lovers, et all:
We, the four of us in the Butchlalis de Panochtitlan, have an all new full-length show that features new work, familiar characters, and some surprises from your favorite rascally tear-jerking tear jerks and caballeros. And we invite you to come and witness, write home about or at least blog it because maybe it's just us but we think not. The collective's decided that 2007 is the year of passion and persuasion.
Maybe the L.A. Weekly catches on, maybe not. Maybe we'll actually get a gig in East L.A., maybe not. Maybe lesbians will pronounce "papi" as "pah-pee" and not "paaap-pee," maybe not.
Still...we, like a beat, go on.
BdP Get U.G.L.Y.
BUTCHLALIS DE PANOCHTITLAN
Infantilizing foursome? Nah! Just the same hot butches with brand new schemes! Expect BdP to bring the sexy wit live and always direct with these troubling and titillating images, skits and skills. New work by the furious foursome call Chicano history with a capital "H", radical femininity, transnational desire, co-dependent deities, papi perils, butch maternity, pain sluts and bitch-hood into question. Voyeurs and haters alike are forced to engage "love em or hate em" you can't kill 'em and you can't live without 'em.
FEBRUARY 23-24, 2006
8:30pm @ HIGHWAYS PERFORMANCE SPACE (www.highwaysperformance.org)
1651 18th Street, Santa Monica CA 90404
Reservation Line (310) 315-1459
$20/$15 (Senior/Student Discount With I.D.)
www.butchlalis.com - www.myspace.com/butchlalis
"I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence." Frederick Douglass
Introducing: myself
thanks, first of all, to simone for inviting me. i am impressed by the project and grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts with like-minded women.
hello! i'm da and i thought i'd introduce myself to this community of writers in my first post.
in a nutshell: da/22/chinese/almost med-student/sf bay area
i was destined to be a feminist at the age of six. at the age of six, i realized (as much as my six-year-old mind could) that my mother was unhappy because of unfair and unfounded gendered expectations. by the time i hit middle school, my mom thought i'd be a bitter man-hating lesbian when i grew up.
in high school, i was driven to prove anything and anyone wrong, especially those who thought my eventual and proper place in life would be in the kitchen (my grandma's expectations, mostly). but, i shied away from the label 'feminist' because those that used the label also used leg hair (or lack thereof) as a political statement.
college was definitely a fun time. i was both in a sorority and part of the women's community center. at first these seem like diabolically opposed organizations with opposite goals, but in reality, today's young women want many of the same broad things: opportunity, individuality, success (however it may be defined), happiness.
currently, i'm doing a gap/research/slacker year until i go to med school this august. i'm sure med school will give me more fodder for feminist musings.
anyway, kudos to simone, et al; i think this is a great project - i hope it helps generate the momentum we need to define feminism for our generation!
hello! i'm da and i thought i'd introduce myself to this community of writers in my first post.
in a nutshell: da/22/chinese/almost med-student/sf bay area
i was destined to be a feminist at the age of six. at the age of six, i realized (as much as my six-year-old mind could) that my mother was unhappy because of unfair and unfounded gendered expectations. by the time i hit middle school, my mom thought i'd be a bitter man-hating lesbian when i grew up.
in high school, i was driven to prove anything and anyone wrong, especially those who thought my eventual and proper place in life would be in the kitchen (my grandma's expectations, mostly). but, i shied away from the label 'feminist' because those that used the label also used leg hair (or lack thereof) as a political statement.
college was definitely a fun time. i was both in a sorority and part of the women's community center. at first these seem like diabolically opposed organizations with opposite goals, but in reality, today's young women want many of the same broad things: opportunity, individuality, success (however it may be defined), happiness.
currently, i'm doing a gap/research/slacker year until i go to med school this august. i'm sure med school will give me more fodder for feminist musings.
anyway, kudos to simone, et al; i think this is a great project - i hope it helps generate the momentum we need to define feminism for our generation!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
björk, bathrooms, babies, and ambition
one of my biggest and silliest work-related fears is that someday the president/CEO of my place of employment will walk in on me in the bathroom. all the ladies on this floor, including she and i, share the same small single-toilet restroom.
women hold virtually all the key leadership positions at my workplace.
as i consider my career options and the possibility of grad school, i have to imagine what my future life could be like if i get my wish for a successful career in the museum biz. the only tricky thing is, when i take a hard look at the women at my workplace who do hold these leadership positions, sometimes it makes me reconsider and reevaluate my definition of success. is it's naive for me to believe that it's truly possible to have it all-- both a satisfying career and a happy personal life, the ultimate goals to which i've been working towards? could i be happy if having a secure professional life meant sacrificing my desire for kids? could i feel complete with a long-term partner/husband but no job? if i HAD to pick just one, which would it be? i hope for the best, but am unsure how these sometimes conflicting elements will reconcile themselves.
i'm not afraid of success. i don't shy away from challenges. i just want to be realistic when i think about what i'm working towards.
i think about how much time women in management roles spend at work or on the road, away from family and other loved ones, those who, in my opinion, make life worth living. if i ever have kids, i don't want to be the absentee mom-- the one who never goes to school events, only spends 5 hrs/week with her kids, devotes the bulk of her life to work, and has a nanny or family member do the real mothering. same goes for quality time with a partner or spouse. at the same time, i'm definitely not cut out for the role of full-time homemaker/wife. it's very important to me to always be financially independent. in general, i do enjoy working and participating in a world outside of my own personal bubble.
women hold virtually all the key leadership positions at my workplace.
as i consider my career options and the possibility of grad school, i have to imagine what my future life could be like if i get my wish for a successful career in the museum biz. the only tricky thing is, when i take a hard look at the women at my workplace who do hold these leadership positions, sometimes it makes me reconsider and reevaluate my definition of success. is it's naive for me to believe that it's truly possible to have it all-- both a satisfying career and a happy personal life, the ultimate goals to which i've been working towards? could i be happy if having a secure professional life meant sacrificing my desire for kids? could i feel complete with a long-term partner/husband but no job? if i HAD to pick just one, which would it be? i hope for the best, but am unsure how these sometimes conflicting elements will reconcile themselves.
i'm not afraid of success. i don't shy away from challenges. i just want to be realistic when i think about what i'm working towards.
i think about how much time women in management roles spend at work or on the road, away from family and other loved ones, those who, in my opinion, make life worth living. if i ever have kids, i don't want to be the absentee mom-- the one who never goes to school events, only spends 5 hrs/week with her kids, devotes the bulk of her life to work, and has a nanny or family member do the real mothering. same goes for quality time with a partner or spouse. at the same time, i'm definitely not cut out for the role of full-time homemaker/wife. it's very important to me to always be financially independent. in general, i do enjoy working and participating in a world outside of my own personal bubble.
i was raised by a single mother, who managed to successfully be a financially responsible, devoted parent. because she was a teacher who worked similar hours to my school schedule, i never felt like i was lacking parental attention/affection. growing up in that atmosphere, i never realized the delicate and difficult balance that often exists when women juggle their personal and professional commitments.
here's an excerpt from a related björk article from 2005. she was 39 at the time of the interview, which was conducted shortly after the birth of her baby w/ matthew barney-
She's open about the problems of balancing family and work. 'It's incredible how nature sets females up to take care of people, and yet it is tricky for them to take care of themselves.' Slightly to her astonishment she is becoming interested in women's rights. Because of her mother's own militancy - 'she wouldn't enter the kitchen, I mean come on' - she reacted the other way, adoring housework, knitting and sewing.
But recently, 'I have been noticing how much harder it is for me and my girlfriends to juggle things than it is for men. In the 1990s, there was a lot of optimism: we thought we'd finally sorted out equal rights for men and women ... and then suddenly it just crashed. I think this is my first time in all the hundreds of interviews I've done, that I've actually jumped on the feminist bandwagon. In the past I always wanted to change the subject. But I think now it's time to bring up all these issues. I wish it wasn't, but I'll do it, I'm up for doing the dirty work!'
Will it inspire new songs? 'It's definitely brewing inside me. Maybe if Medulla was my personal, idiosyncratic statement about politics, whatever I do next is going to be my eccentric view of feminism. It's like any major upheaval, whether it's the revolution in France or punk for me in the 1970s, you break up all the corruption and fuck up all the bad things, so you can start really fresh. But it's the law of nature that it all settles again, so you have to keep checking yourself. You can't ever say, "OK, we sorted out corruption and everyone is equal." So I might become a feminist in my old age!'
Born Björk Gudmundsdottir in Reykjavik in 1965, she grew up in a hippy commune with her mother and stepfather, a blues musician. 'I was brought up feeling that my mother had sacrificed herself for me. Fortunately she's now got a little business doing homeopathy from home, but she's almost 60. I'm still desperate to get over that sense of guilt. I don't want my baby to feel that.'
Monday, January 15, 2007
MLK Jr. Holiday
It's Martin Luther King day here in the US.
I'm disappointed that many years after the Civil Rights Movement, we're still fighting prejudice. Let me tell you of something that happened to me and how, in our own small way, we can fight it.
A friend of mine told me about a meeting he had with some executives. One of the board members asked "Isn't Monday a holiday?" "Yes" said the VP and continued, "Just think. If we'd of shot six more of those n*****s, we could of had a whole week off!"
The first thing I asked my friend who relayed this story, "Weren't you shocked? Didn't you say something about how that offended you?"
"Um, no."
"Did anyone laugh at that disgusting joke?" I asked.
"Yeah, they did." He said.
"Did YOU laugh?"
"No. I thought it was a terrible joke" He said.
"Why didn't you SAY that??" I said, shocked by his ability to keep quiet. I would have ripped them a new one. :)
"Well", my friend said, "I don't know. I just let it go."
Just let it go. How many times do we "just let it go" and keep quiet? I'm tired of letting it go. I'm so tired of it that the next time the situation came up, I strongly voiced my anger at the disparaging comment. Now, of course, I'm labeled as a trouble maker. I don't care. People of the Civil Rights Movement suffered a lot more than just the embarrassment of being mocked by others. I'm tired of gay jokes, women bashing jokes, the list could go on....
"What's the harm?" someone said. "They're just jokes." It's not the jokes that are so disgusting (well, yeah, that's it too), but it's the people laughing when they should be standing up and saying "Wait a minute. That's very offensive."
I may not be marching, but I'm trying to do my best in my own little world.
Peace and love to all of my sisters (and brothers who may be reading this.)
~Joanneeeeeeeeeeeee
I'm disappointed that many years after the Civil Rights Movement, we're still fighting prejudice. Let me tell you of something that happened to me and how, in our own small way, we can fight it.
A friend of mine told me about a meeting he had with some executives. One of the board members asked "Isn't Monday a holiday?" "Yes" said the VP and continued, "Just think. If we'd of shot six more of those n*****s, we could of had a whole week off!"
The first thing I asked my friend who relayed this story, "Weren't you shocked? Didn't you say something about how that offended you?"
"Um, no."
"Did anyone laugh at that disgusting joke?" I asked.
"Yeah, they did." He said.
"Did YOU laugh?"
"No. I thought it was a terrible joke" He said.
"Why didn't you SAY that??" I said, shocked by his ability to keep quiet. I would have ripped them a new one. :)
"Well", my friend said, "I don't know. I just let it go."
Just let it go. How many times do we "just let it go" and keep quiet? I'm tired of letting it go. I'm so tired of it that the next time the situation came up, I strongly voiced my anger at the disparaging comment. Now, of course, I'm labeled as a trouble maker. I don't care. People of the Civil Rights Movement suffered a lot more than just the embarrassment of being mocked by others. I'm tired of gay jokes, women bashing jokes, the list could go on....
"What's the harm?" someone said. "They're just jokes." It's not the jokes that are so disgusting (well, yeah, that's it too), but it's the people laughing when they should be standing up and saying "Wait a minute. That's very offensive."
I may not be marching, but I'm trying to do my best in my own little world.
Peace and love to all of my sisters (and brothers who may be reading this.)
~Joanneeeeeeeeeeeee
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Julia's Introduction
[submitted via email]
Julia/26/Hispanic-Italian/English Teacher
Hi, everyone! I know I'm a little late in introducing myself to the party, but I brought sake so I hope it's all right. I'm Julia and I'm signing on from a quiet internet cafe in Japan, where I very recently moved in order to teach English. I had what one might call my "quarter life crisis" in 2006 - I decided that while I loved my city (NYC, represent!!) and my absolutely amazing friends and family that I needed a complete change. So I got my international teaching certificate, quit my despised job of 4 years and arrived in Japan exactly one week ago. So far, my Japanese honeymoon is quite nice - I am meeting fun new people and have started job training. Now if I could just hone my "duck!!! it's another bicycle on the sidewalk!!!" spidey sense things would be even better. Thanks to Simone for inviting me to post with all of you - it is nice to finally get to have some
interaction (albeit digital) with some of you whose names I have heard before but never actually gotten to meet (congratulations on your engagement, Dolly!) I might not be able to post as often as I would like until I get internet service in my itsy bitsy teeny weeny Japanese apartment-tini but I will do my best.
And now I have to go get some homework done for my training class tomorrow. And find some salt - I have a vision of making pasta tonight. Let's just hope I can remember the hiragana signs for "shio."
Julia/26/Hispanic-Italian/English Teacher
Hi, everyone! I know I'm a little late in introducing myself to the party, but I brought sake so I hope it's all right. I'm Julia and I'm signing on from a quiet internet cafe in Japan, where I very recently moved in order to teach English. I had what one might call my "quarter life crisis" in 2006 - I decided that while I loved my city (NYC, represent!!) and my absolutely amazing friends and family that I needed a complete change. So I got my international teaching certificate, quit my despised job of 4 years and arrived in Japan exactly one week ago. So far, my Japanese honeymoon is quite nice - I am meeting fun new people and have started job training. Now if I could just hone my "duck!!! it's another bicycle on the sidewalk!!!" spidey sense things would be even better. Thanks to Simone for inviting me to post with all of you - it is nice to finally get to have some
interaction (albeit digital) with some of you whose names I have heard before but never actually gotten to meet (congratulations on your engagement, Dolly!) I might not be able to post as often as I would like until I get internet service in my itsy bitsy teeny weeny Japanese apartment-tini but I will do my best.
And now I have to go get some homework done for my training class tomorrow. And find some salt - I have a vision of making pasta tonight. Let's just hope I can remember the hiragana signs for "shio."
love fest time
hi ladies.
i've enjoyed reading every single entry that's been posted on here!! i get so excited every time i check the site and see a new entry.
if you're reading but haven't posted yet, i urge you to TRY IT. go ahead, do a sample post, and see how you like it. it feels good.
you don't need to be a "contributor" to contribute to the wwm! anyone can post.
we've recently put a link to posting directions on the left side of the site, for easy reference, along with our statement of intent. they're also in our blogger profile .
i've enjoyed reading every single entry that's been posted on here!! i get so excited every time i check the site and see a new entry.
if you're reading but haven't posted yet, i urge you to TRY IT. go ahead, do a sample post, and see how you like it. it feels good.
you don't need to be a "contributor" to contribute to the wwm! anyone can post.
we've recently put a link to posting directions on the left side of the site, for easy reference, along with our statement of intent. they're also in our blogger profile .
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Traveling Solo
As a Sagitarius, I like to get out and travel and be free. But as a woman is it really possible to travel and be free? Not really. We constantly need to look over our shoulders and in some countries make sure that we are dressing appropriately. Anyway, I bring this up because recently a friend from high school just got back from traveling all over Mexico for two weeks. I was jealous for two reasons. 1) He got to take the time off to travel 2) He went solo. As he told me about his trip I was in awe of something I will never be able to do. Maybe that is pessimistic but I think it is close to the truth. Women aren't able to enjoy the same privilege as men when it comes to traveling solo. I don't think it even crossed my friend's mind, how lucky he is. I don't think I'd want to travel all the time solo because I think part of the beauty of traveling is sharing the experience with someone but every so often it might be nice.
Friday, January 12, 2007
sisterhood of the traveling habits
ok, let's talk about a whole 'nother type of sisterhood.
am i the only one who is intrigued by the nun lifestyle?
as a non-religious person, i have a shocking confession to make:
curious about many aspects of nuns' lives and the inner-workings of convents, there was a short time when i considered becoming a nun. i can't clearly put into words why it appealed to me, but i guess there was just something interesting about what extreme lives nuns live (more so than priests because sisters generally seem to have less interaction w/ the public). alas, i lack both the religious conviction (like i said earlier) and the penchant for self-denial necessary for the job. i'd never be able to pull it off!
i had forgotten about it all until my mom, my special friend (to quote nitoito noelle), and i recently went to a holiday boutique at a nearby convent, and i found myself totally fascinated by the world of nuns all over again. although the catholic church is mostly geared toward worship of male gods (e.g. the holy trinity of god the father, god the son (jesus), and the vaguely male holy spirit), convents seem to be such unique female-centric communities. they're one-of-a-kind, female-positive environments, or so i'd like to believe.
i'd like to start an oral history project interviewing nuns. i want to engage in some candid discussions with these sisters. i'm dying to know:
where they're from
when they got religious/if they always wanted to be nuns
what they like about their lifestyle
what they hate about their lifestyle
what they do for fun
what kind of music they like
what their political views are
what they think about feminism
if they think the church is sexist in any way(s)
what they really think about priests
what their families and friends think about their vocation
what the biggest misconception about nuns is
i wonder if i'd be surprised by their answers. i'd really like to hear more from them in their own words-- maybe i should advertise women's writes at the convent.
am i the only one who is intrigued by the nun lifestyle?
as a non-religious person, i have a shocking confession to make:
curious about many aspects of nuns' lives and the inner-workings of convents, there was a short time when i considered becoming a nun. i can't clearly put into words why it appealed to me, but i guess there was just something interesting about what extreme lives nuns live (more so than priests because sisters generally seem to have less interaction w/ the public). alas, i lack both the religious conviction (like i said earlier) and the penchant for self-denial necessary for the job. i'd never be able to pull it off!
i had forgotten about it all until my mom, my special friend (to quote nitoito noelle), and i recently went to a holiday boutique at a nearby convent, and i found myself totally fascinated by the world of nuns all over again. although the catholic church is mostly geared toward worship of male gods (e.g. the holy trinity of god the father, god the son (jesus), and the vaguely male holy spirit), convents seem to be such unique female-centric communities. they're one-of-a-kind, female-positive environments, or so i'd like to believe.
i'd like to start an oral history project interviewing nuns. i want to engage in some candid discussions with these sisters. i'm dying to know:
where they're from
when they got religious/if they always wanted to be nuns
what they like about their lifestyle
what they hate about their lifestyle
what they do for fun
what kind of music they like
what their political views are
what they think about feminism
if they think the church is sexist in any way(s)
what they really think about priests
what their families and friends think about their vocation
what the biggest misconception about nuns is
i wonder if i'd be surprised by their answers. i'd really like to hear more from them in their own words-- maybe i should advertise women's writes at the convent.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Our Founding Fathers
A very special thanks to Simone and Doll, for manifesting their vision of an un-biased platform with which to speak our minds. This is the start of something so important and so simple: an opportunity to understand each other better, and to create empathy, a sense of community and a safe space to confide. As we all learn to exercise this new form of communication, let me first say a special thank you to our founding fathers.
--
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another introduction
my name is also noelle, i am also 27 and i also work in downtown la, in the creative department at american apparel. i even caught a glimpse of the same red and yellow balloons yesterday morning, around 5th and central. there's a word for this sort of thing - happenstance, also the (english) title of another movie starring audrey tautou a.k.a. amélie, who i have also had similarities to in appearance and demeanor noted: i'm also 5'2" with short dark hair, enjoy devising strategems, and i'm nobody's weasel.
Intros & Balloons
Noelle/27/Japanese American/ Fund Development for Nonprofit
Hello fellow ladies! Thanks to Simone for including me in on this fun project! I know it will inspire me to write more frequently see I rarely post on my personal blog. Anyway, it is nice to meet you ladies and already great things are happening like engagements, empowerment, and smiles!
A side note about me: I have a strange sense of humor and happiness. Kinda like the movie Amelie. I am amused by small things and if you ask Miles (my special friend ☺ I hate the word “boyfriend”), he would confirm that I like to imagine googlie eyes on inanimate objects.
Now on to my first entry…
Yesterday I was driving around downtown LA doing some work errands like buying paper, snacks and postage when I came across a very unique sight. Although depressing, it made me smile and for some reason gave me a bit of hope. Generally when I step outside of my office I come across a huge homeless community many chilling on the sidewalk, some doing drugs, some reading, etc. I was driving down 4th Street (a one way street) right in the heart of Skid Row just a block away from my office and from a distance I could see these two balloon columns. You know the kind with the big balloon on top and the other smaller balloons spiraling down to make a column of balloons. They were bright red and yellow. I thought someone must be picking them up for a party but as I drove closer I realized they were each in their own shopping cart being pushed by a very smiley homeless woman. The columns must have been about 8 feet tall. They had quite a presence in Skid Row. She pushed them up the street near the gutter and although I am sure her life is quite tough, she seemed so happy with her balloons. I smiled as I drove by.
On my way back from running errands, I was driving up 3rd St. and happened to look down one of the side streets. The first thing I noticed was the two balloon columns again, one on each side of the street while the same woman took a rest on the sidewalk. It’s amazing how a simple piece of latex blown up by helium can bring smiles to faces.
This entry is dedicated to the numerous homeless women who struggle to survive and provide for their families.
Hello fellow ladies! Thanks to Simone for including me in on this fun project! I know it will inspire me to write more frequently see I rarely post on my personal blog. Anyway, it is nice to meet you ladies and already great things are happening like engagements, empowerment, and smiles!
A side note about me: I have a strange sense of humor and happiness. Kinda like the movie Amelie. I am amused by small things and if you ask Miles (my special friend ☺ I hate the word “boyfriend”), he would confirm that I like to imagine googlie eyes on inanimate objects.
Now on to my first entry…
Yesterday I was driving around downtown LA doing some work errands like buying paper, snacks and postage when I came across a very unique sight. Although depressing, it made me smile and for some reason gave me a bit of hope. Generally when I step outside of my office I come across a huge homeless community many chilling on the sidewalk, some doing drugs, some reading, etc. I was driving down 4th Street (a one way street) right in the heart of Skid Row just a block away from my office and from a distance I could see these two balloon columns. You know the kind with the big balloon on top and the other smaller balloons spiraling down to make a column of balloons. They were bright red and yellow. I thought someone must be picking them up for a party but as I drove closer I realized they were each in their own shopping cart being pushed by a very smiley homeless woman. The columns must have been about 8 feet tall. They had quite a presence in Skid Row. She pushed them up the street near the gutter and although I am sure her life is quite tough, she seemed so happy with her balloons. I smiled as I drove by.
On my way back from running errands, I was driving up 3rd St. and happened to look down one of the side streets. The first thing I noticed was the two balloon columns again, one on each side of the street while the same woman took a rest on the sidewalk. It’s amazing how a simple piece of latex blown up by helium can bring smiles to faces.
This entry is dedicated to the numerous homeless women who struggle to survive and provide for their families.
eating as protest, part 2
this is a real diary entry i wrote in 2005. the memory of this experience is what prompted me to write my earlier entry.
i'm so glad that on international women's day i have a good friend like noelle, who will proudly sit next to me at lunch, unafraid to dig into a good meal...this afternoon, we had another "interesting" lunch with [name omitted to protect the guilty], who has sadly morphed into a future stepford wife. in addition to being buick-phobic, she is apparently carb and dairy phobic now as well. (sad, sad, sad.) [unnamed] and her co-worker/friend were amazed that noelle and i would go so far as to order burgers (as opposed to their pathetic "burger bowl" salads), fries, and milkshakes at all, let alone in the same meal. they even went so far as to comment, "wow, you guys are going crazy!" and "it's like a party!" um, no...it's not a party, sweetie- it's called EATING LUNCH.
i mean, for god's sake! they were actually on a "jamba juice for lunch" diet together a while back (probably while noelle and i were eating nothing but PAD THAI and thai iced beverages ;) ...AND [nameless]'s friend actually said she would never, ever order a milkshake because if she did, she'd have to kill herself afterwards! (this girl also thinks britney spears is fat.) [this was pre-pregnancy britney, wink.]
STOP THE MADNESS!!!!
nameless and her friend obviously aspired to mainstream american media's (+ society's) definition of the ideal + desirable woman, but for what?! self-deprivation and malnourishment aren't my cup of tea. ;) what's the point in being "ideal" if your stomach's growling all the time?
i'm so glad that on international women's day i have a good friend like noelle, who will proudly sit next to me at lunch, unafraid to dig into a good meal...this afternoon, we had another "interesting" lunch with [name omitted to protect the guilty], who has sadly morphed into a future stepford wife. in addition to being buick-phobic, she is apparently carb and dairy phobic now as well. (sad, sad, sad.) [unnamed] and her co-worker/friend were amazed that noelle and i would go so far as to order burgers (as opposed to their pathetic "burger bowl" salads), fries, and milkshakes at all, let alone in the same meal. they even went so far as to comment, "wow, you guys are going crazy!" and "it's like a party!" um, no...it's not a party, sweetie- it's called EATING LUNCH.
i mean, for god's sake! they were actually on a "jamba juice for lunch" diet together a while back (probably while noelle and i were eating nothing but PAD THAI and thai iced beverages ;) ...AND [nameless]'s friend actually said she would never, ever order a milkshake because if she did, she'd have to kill herself afterwards! (this girl also thinks britney spears is fat.) [this was pre-pregnancy britney, wink.]
STOP THE MADNESS!!!!
nameless and her friend obviously aspired to mainstream american media's (+ society's) definition of the ideal + desirable woman, but for what?! self-deprivation and malnourishment aren't my cup of tea. ;) what's the point in being "ideal" if your stomach's growling all the time?
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
untitled by anonymous
this morning in my yahoo bulk folder, i received a message from gaspar
estrada entitled "court ponytail."
as they say in internet parlance, wtf?
crazy spam.
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
the hate bond is the strongest
this morning, wearing my headphones (silent signal to strangers that i want to be left alone) and walking to work from union station, a fellow pedestrian and i were cut off by a jackass in a silver sports car.
i shook my head with disgust. above the buzz of my headphones, i heard her grumpily mutter, "asshole." i looked at her and we shared mutual looks of disdain for said asshole. she said, "i hate people! they're unnecessarily RUDE." i shook my head in agreement. two random, cynical strangers whose paths crossed somewhere on alameda street, we experienced a powerful shared moment of bonding before i dashed across the street to catch the green signal.
i shook my head with disgust. above the buzz of my headphones, i heard her grumpily mutter, "asshole." i looked at her and we shared mutual looks of disdain for said asshole. she said, "i hate people! they're unnecessarily RUDE." i shook my head in agreement. two random, cynical strangers whose paths crossed somewhere on alameda street, we experienced a powerful shared moment of bonding before i dashed across the street to catch the green signal.
officiants, and florists, and rings, oh my!
I'm engaged. Go ahead, attach or insert any emotion you'd like for I am encircled by them all. I'm amazed most of all for I never thought, being a person who tried to remain an island unto herself, I would ever want eternal commitment. But here's the thing, now I DO. It’s quite liberating to realize that companionship and categorical love does exist; I mean, I always knew it did, but it’s nice to know that I can indulge in my share of the love pie too. (Did I just say love pie? Please, don’t run with that one! I know it was wrong on a multitude of levels).
Yet, despite my love for one man, I do not love the trip getting to the altar! They should really call it an alter cuz @ the end of this long debacle, which is wedding planning, my core-self will me forever be changed. Everyone has something to say about something…yeesh! It’s hard for some to accept our plan for a small, non-traditional affair with immediate family, and maybe a few friends thrown in the mix. We desire this type of ceremony etc., because it reflects us as a couple…low pro! I’m not fond of all the smoke and mirror aspects of traditional ceremonies/receptions, i.e., walking down an aisle, bouquet/garter toss, $1 dance etc. It’s for some, but maybe not for me…still undecided @ this point. Maybe I’m just too cynical?
Although, I won’t lie and say that I’m not entirely above oohing and aahing over colors schemes and wedding favor ideas; it’s actually quite nice to fuss over the stereotypical “girlie” aspects of wedding planning, and I even found myself longing to see the linen selections our wedding venue had to offer. Who knew I was such a dork? But overall, I want (and look forward to) simplicity, a few drinks, and (cue the soft jazz and dim the lights) the love of my new husband on my wedding day. Guffaw, guffaw, guffaw.
Yet, despite my love for one man, I do not love the trip getting to the altar! They should really call it an alter cuz @ the end of this long debacle, which is wedding planning, my core-self will me forever be changed. Everyone has something to say about something…yeesh! It’s hard for some to accept our plan for a small, non-traditional affair with immediate family, and maybe a few friends thrown in the mix. We desire this type of ceremony etc., because it reflects us as a couple…low pro! I’m not fond of all the smoke and mirror aspects of traditional ceremonies/receptions, i.e., walking down an aisle, bouquet/garter toss, $1 dance etc. It’s for some, but maybe not for me…still undecided @ this point. Maybe I’m just too cynical?
Although, I won’t lie and say that I’m not entirely above oohing and aahing over colors schemes and wedding favor ideas; it’s actually quite nice to fuss over the stereotypical “girlie” aspects of wedding planning, and I even found myself longing to see the linen selections our wedding venue had to offer. Who knew I was such a dork? But overall, I want (and look forward to) simplicity, a few drinks, and (cue the soft jazz and dim the lights) the love of my new husband on my wedding day. Guffaw, guffaw, guffaw.
eating as protest
when my friend noelle s. and i get really mad, "mad as hell and we're not gonna take it anymore"-mad, we eat.
we eat to protest unnatural thinness and unrealistic images of women perpetuated by the media.
we eat to protest stepford singles (stepford wives-in-training).
we eat to protest salad-only eaters.
we eat to show that we're not afraid of carbs.
we eat to encourage other women to do the same.
we are well aware of the health threats posed by diabetes and obesity. we eat heartily, but we don't necessarily OVEReat! we just have healthy appetites for life and food, and we're not afraid to show it.
food-based life enhancement is what we're about!
we eat to protest unnatural thinness and unrealistic images of women perpetuated by the media.
we eat to protest stepford singles (stepford wives-in-training).
we eat to protest salad-only eaters.
we eat to show that we're not afraid of carbs.
we eat to encourage other women to do the same.
we are well aware of the health threats posed by diabetes and obesity. we eat heartily, but we don't necessarily OVEReat! we just have healthy appetites for life and food, and we're not afraid to show it.
food-based life enhancement is what we're about!
Road Trip '07 - kind of long, sorry
Okay, so I just got back from a 4,700 mile road trip from Los Angeles to Jacksonville, Florida and back (we covered eight states). My boyfriend and I traveled to Florida to spend the holidays with his parents, who obviously live in Florida. Here are some of my observations that I made about America and her people (well, the ones who live in the southern part of the country):
There are shitty drivers everywhere. Bad driving is not exclusive to one state, city, sex or even race. I’m sorry but as a whole, Americans are bad drivers. And NO ONE makes a complete stop at a Stop sign. Don’t get me started on driving in the rain and snow….
People are still taking road trips. Here I thought the whole family going on a cross country road trip was dead but it isn’t; it is alive and well. Along our drive my boyfriend and I kept track of all the different states we saw on the license plates. I think we saw a good collection of them (Maine, Wisconsin, Tennessee, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Alaska, Colorado, Oregon, Oklahoma, and lots of other Californians). There are still families out there traveling with their luggage on the top of the car, okay, so now the kids can watch DVDs the entire drive instead of keeping themselves busy playing the A, B, C game, or car bingo (I loved that game), or God forbid, reading a book, but the important part is that the kids are still in the car going to new places and seeing new things.
Americans, on a whole, are friendly and helpful.
The country is full of weird billboards alongside our big interstate highways. The one that kept catching my attention is the ad for vasectomy reversal. Who is this billboard for exactly? Is there some man out there, driving the 10 highway that sees this and thinks “oh, that’s right, I need to get my vasectomy reversed. Let me stop the car and write down that 1-800 number.” That billboard was in all 8 states. Oh, and I did see one billboard advertising vasectomies – they only cost a few hundred bucks. Let me know if you need the number....
The people in the southeast like to think that they are religious. As soon as you hit Texas, all you see is churches. The smallest of town, ones that don’t even have a light, have at least 5 or 6 churches and the churches have billboards and signs out on the street inviting you to join them.
Driving a Land Rover is fun and my boyfriend trusts me. Okay, this observation isn’t about Americans, just me. I drove my boyfriend’s Land Rover (his most prized possession) through most of Texas and I discovered that being in those giant vehicles that you can’t see past, is actually really nice. It’s nice to be up high and be able to see everything. And while driving, my boyfriend napped, which surprised me. I guess he felt safe enough to close his eyes with me driving his expensive vehicle – good to know!
New Years is the best when you are with the person you love the most in this world – you don’t need millions of other people. Boyfriend and I spent New Years Eve in a Comfort Inn in Panama City Beach, Florida – just the two of us and it was the best New Years I’ve ever had.
The trip back from Florida we stopped at some great spots in this country, Dirty Dick’s Crab Shack (really good restaurant by the way), The Alamo, which I thought would be bigger, and Billy the Kid’s gravesite, which looks pretty cool covered in snow. We also stayed with my somewhat weird aunt and uncle outside of Roswell, New Mexico (and then later made the trek to the International UFO Museum & Research Center which is really cool – if you have the chance – go). I visited an old friend in Albuquerque who is now on her second husband and has three children – God am I getting old (I have zero husbands and zero children)! Also visited my alma mater, Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff (again, covered in snow). It was fun to see my old stomping grounds but it wasn’t the same – winter break so the campus was deserted – must go again in the spring.
It was nice to get home and sleep in my own bed after two weeks of a variety of different pillows and mattresses. It was nice to not have to get in a car and drive 4 hours to get somewhere. It’s nice to not have to eat out anymore (I’m sure I’ve gained back all the weight I recently lost on Weight Watchers…oh well). I am glad to be home but I miss my boyfriend. After spending every hour with someone for two weeks straight it’s weird to have us go to separate places all day. We had a great time together – traveling with your best friend is one of the most fun things you can do in this world. But it is nice to be home safe and sound…that is until our next road trip.
OOooo, my first blog! It's not deep, I muse to amuse.
I don’t know if I should call this “Why I Hate the Telephone” or “Why I Love Slash Hate Craigslist”. Either way, right there, two important things to know about me. I avoid talking on the phone, especially initiating the call, at all costs. Email and text messaging are my best friends, or at least how I talk to them. I found my apartment and most of its contents on Craigslist. So a few months ago I bought this stackable washer/dryer situation from Craigslist. Long, annoying story short, I couldn’t use it in my apartment and couldn’t return it from whence it came. So I relisted it for the same price I paid, explained the situation, and waited for the buyers to come rolling in. Roll they did not, but there was some e-trickle, and after all, I only needed one buyer. I emailed back and forth with this one guy for the better part of a Saturday, answering questions and stuff, and eventually he just disappeared. Flakearoonied. So I just started giving out my phone number when people emailed. I needed to get this over with; my landlord was bugging me about the washer being in the back yard, and even I was a little concerned that I was one slippery slope away from having late 70s American cars sans wheels propped up on cinder blocks and/or under tarps out back. So anyway, later that week I was tooling around with my friend Malika who was in town for a visit (in a fully functional, mid-00s Japanese car, FYI), and my celly blows up, and it’s a number I don’t know. “Sweet, Imma sell my washer!” I think, and probably say out loud. Aloud. And here’s how our conversation went, (for the duration of this blog, a set of ellipses represents an awkward pause of anywhere from 3 to 15 seconds. And “Sarah” should be read in a surfer/stoner drawl.):
Me: Hello?
Sarah: …Uh, hi. It’s Sarah
M: Oh, hi, how are you?
S: Um, good…
M: You’re calling about the washer, right?
S: Yeah.
M: …OK, well, so you know it’s electric, right? It’s got a big appliance plug.
S: Yeah. Oh. Wait. So it’s like, a bigger plug?
M: Yeah, I know it’s hard to tell from the picture, but it’s like 2 or 3 times the size of a normal plug. I couldn’t use the washer after I bought it because my landlord wouldn’t let us change the outlet. (Note: I had described in detail and posted a picture of said plug.)
S: Ooohhh, ok, yeah, I don’t have that kind of outlet.
M: Ah, ok, well, I guess that answers that, then.
S: …Yeah.
M: ….Soooo, I mean, unless you think your landlord would let you change your outlet, I guess it won’t work for you.
S: Nah, he’s kind of a slumlord, I don’t think he’d be down.
M: OK, well, I guess it won’t work out then. I’m sorry, that sucks!
S: Yeah.
M: …But, um, thanks for responding to the ad!
S: Sure, yeah…
M: …Ok, then, bye.
So I hung up, and Malika said “You were so sweet. It sounded like you tried to end the conversation like 15 times” and I filled her in on the half that she couldn’t hear. I really don’t know what was going on. The girl was very nice the whole time, she just sounded like a flakey, stoner kind of girl. My first thought was that she was, like, trying to get it cheaper or something because it wasn’t what she needed, but in the ad I made it pretty clear that I was desperate to get rid of this thing and would take just about any offer. Steffen’s theory was that I had inadvertently used some secret Craigslist drug code or something. “Oh, shit, man, did you see the post for an ELECTRIC stackable washer/dryer! ELECTRIC?! That shit is sooooo hard to come by, man!” I probably ruined the evening for Sarah and all her friends. They were going to have a big “stack” party because Sarah was going to score some for real cheap off Craigslist. Really, though, if you’re not familiar with the phenomenon that is Craigslist, go take a look, especially in the “wanted” section. People are willing to trade “purple footballs made by Pfizer” for “420”. It’s subtle. What on earth could they be talking about? They should make an urban dictionary, but for Craigslist. “I’ll swing by tonight” is code for “Hang around your apartment all evening and don’t make any plans, and be prepared to get annoyed, ‘cause I ain’t coming over.”
You know, I think I have an old Nerf lying around; it looks like I could get a couple bucks for it. How’s this for a catchy headline: “Purple Football. $4.20 obo. Ask for TINA*”. And when they respond, I can see if they also want some Stack.
*That’s “Tits and Ass” in CL-speak.
-Melissa
Me: Hello?
Sarah: …Uh, hi. It’s Sarah
M: Oh, hi, how are you?
S: Um, good…
M: You’re calling about the washer, right?
S: Yeah.
M: …OK, well, so you know it’s electric, right? It’s got a big appliance plug.
S: Yeah. Oh. Wait. So it’s like, a bigger plug?
M: Yeah, I know it’s hard to tell from the picture, but it’s like 2 or 3 times the size of a normal plug. I couldn’t use the washer after I bought it because my landlord wouldn’t let us change the outlet. (Note: I had described in detail and posted a picture of said plug.)
S: Ooohhh, ok, yeah, I don’t have that kind of outlet.
M: Ah, ok, well, I guess that answers that, then.
S: …Yeah.
M: ….Soooo, I mean, unless you think your landlord would let you change your outlet, I guess it won’t work for you.
S: Nah, he’s kind of a slumlord, I don’t think he’d be down.
M: OK, well, I guess it won’t work out then. I’m sorry, that sucks!
S: Yeah.
M: …But, um, thanks for responding to the ad!
S: Sure, yeah…
M: …Ok, then, bye.
So I hung up, and Malika said “You were so sweet. It sounded like you tried to end the conversation like 15 times” and I filled her in on the half that she couldn’t hear. I really don’t know what was going on. The girl was very nice the whole time, she just sounded like a flakey, stoner kind of girl. My first thought was that she was, like, trying to get it cheaper or something because it wasn’t what she needed, but in the ad I made it pretty clear that I was desperate to get rid of this thing and would take just about any offer. Steffen’s theory was that I had inadvertently used some secret Craigslist drug code or something. “Oh, shit, man, did you see the post for an ELECTRIC stackable washer/dryer! ELECTRIC?! That shit is sooooo hard to come by, man!” I probably ruined the evening for Sarah and all her friends. They were going to have a big “stack” party because Sarah was going to score some for real cheap off Craigslist. Really, though, if you’re not familiar with the phenomenon that is Craigslist, go take a look, especially in the “wanted” section. People are willing to trade “purple footballs made by Pfizer” for “420”. It’s subtle. What on earth could they be talking about? They should make an urban dictionary, but for Craigslist. “I’ll swing by tonight” is code for “Hang around your apartment all evening and don’t make any plans, and be prepared to get annoyed, ‘cause I ain’t coming over.”
You know, I think I have an old Nerf lying around; it looks like I could get a couple bucks for it. How’s this for a catchy headline: “Purple Football. $4.20 obo. Ask for TINA*”. And when they respond, I can see if they also want some Stack.
*That’s “Tits and Ass” in CL-speak.
-Melissa
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